I bet you have heard at least one of these statements.
“Do whatever is best for you.”
“You need to care about others as much as you care about yourself.”
“Don’t just think about yourself. Think about others.”
“Make yourself a priority.”
Confused? Yeah, I was too for a while. I grew up focused on making sure my family and friends were always taken care of. Their happiness was my priority for most of my life. It became a part of my mindset that I do not need, want, and care for anything for myself because they need to be happy first. Unfortunately, that was not the healthiest thing to do. As wonderful as it is to have that mindset, I became lost to all of those around me. No longer knowing who I was in this world. Can you believe it that I actually thought that I was put on this earth to take care of others at the expense of my own happiness?
The Journey
I began this new journey in my life of rediscovering me. About 2 years ago, I came to the realization that I had a special gift of being able to listen to my family and friends that were struggling in life and give them an outside view that they may not have realized once before. That out-of-the-box view that we tend to not see when we are fully engrossed in the situation. Gave me the push to learn more about mental health and follow a new passion to discover how I can help more people.
Lost
During this realization, I was also opened to see that my life was not one that was truly designed for me. How do I know? I was not happy. Yeah, it was nice to see my loved ones being happy, but I sat in the back feeling numb and lonely. Like I was invisible to everyone unless I was providing for them. My depression grew into a very dark place. Anytime someone would ask what I want, whether it was simply about getting lunch or a birthday gift to something greater as what do I want in life, there was no answer. It stopped. I stopped wanting and needing anything.
All About Me
So, now I am on this path of learning about me. How do I make me a priority without losing the compassion I have for all of my family, friends, and all I come into contact with? I found a quote that simply stated, “treat those the way you want to be treated”. But I need to expand on that. “Treat those the way you want to be treated, by you.” If I can look in the mirror and respect the person on the other side, it is a step in the right direction. To find that person to be beautiful, smart, driven, proud, and especially powerful, then I can treat all of those around me the same way. To love someone, you need to love yourself. Now it is time for me to love me. To say that I can do this. I can stand on my own two feet. Now, I am feeling powerful and proud.
Generations
It is funny, I was talking to my mom a while ago about how generations are so different. She was raised that the men took care of supporting the household while she was to care for the kids. However, I was raised that men should support the household, BUT you my daughter will learn how to take care of yourself too. You will learn how to change tires, build desks, paint, and fix things around the house. This girl will be able to not only care for the kids, but also support the house too. That I do not need to have someone support me. I do need someone to love me, respect me, and value me as their partner.
You are special
So, stand up and look in the mirror. Because we are all beautiful, strong, smart, driven, proud, and powerful! If you are getting up every day, standing on your two feet…you are strong. It is about time for you to stop for just one minute and tell yourself…I love you. Tell yourself, you can take that next step, because you only need one for today. Tomorrow is another day, another step. Self-love, self-care is so important. Don’t lose yourself to your surroundings. Because you are too special.
With great warmth,
