I was trying to figure out what I was going to write about this week. So, I sat here and played my game on my phone for a little bit, when it hit me. Loneliness. I had a friend on my game say they were lonely. Even with all of these other players, he was lonely. Then I started thinking about me and realizing that I have friends near me and friends that are far away. I have family near me and family that is far away. All of these people love and care about me. But I sit here …
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Learn when to hold them and when to fold them
I have been playing a game online with many people from all over the world. Recently we had a fight on the game that had many people breaking trust and fighting within their groups. Emotions ran high for everyone. Some people felt the stress was too much and left the game. I was almost one of them. But I found in trying to build back from this fight, that there is a time in which you fight and a time in which you stop and move on. When you hold onto your drive for more, and when you fold up …
Just a Little Piece of Candy for You
Today is Halloween in the US. A day for kids to walk around in costumes of various styles and ask for candy. I sit here watching the families walking by as I hand out the candy and think about all of these people in this world. What could their life be like? Are they happy? To imagine everyone in this world having different experiences and living different lives. And each one pushing through, trying to find their happiness. We walk around in our little bubbles not realizing that someone is also going through something. What would this world be like …
How my life stepped forward only to trigger back
This past week I have dealt with being sick with COVID, changes at work, the family getting sick, and changes in vacation plans. And even with all of that, I have been trying to keep focusing on myself. But I Tuesday night, something strange happened. I had a trigger out of the blue. How do I know? Because suddenly my mind shifted. Nothing was right. Nothing was good. My mind went from everything being good, to everything being dark. It was that quick. That easy. I fell. The good parts My life has been turning around lately. I love my …
I doubt you can doubt more than me
This week was a test of mental stability for sure. Well, for me it was. I have been with my company for only about 4 months now. The people are so nice, and I can see many of them really care about each other. I look around and see people working hard, laughing, and casual conversations. It is a pleasant experience each day. And for 4 months, I have had a really good time here. But this week really tried me and my mental health. And suddenly, my own self doubt found a way to creep back in. Creeping back …
Did you know it really is okay?
Every day we go through our lives of work, home, school, family, friends, responsibilities, and for some reason we tend to forget the one thing that is most important…ourselves. Over my life I have fought against the lows of depression and anxiety. I even danced in the highs of just feeling happy. We will be faced with decisions and stress so many times, we cannot forget that there are positive times in life. Did you know it is okay to feel happy? And it is okay to not be okay? Growing up When I was younger, I remember times that …
Pain, Pain, Go Away, Come Back Another Day
Ever hear the nursery rhyme “Rain, Rain, Go Away”? The idea that a gloomy day is not what you want. To bring back the sun and brighten up the day. This idea is one that many of us feel constantly. I have been happier lately. Smiling more, dancing in my car, even laughing more. But it doesn’t take much to bring my thoughts down. A simple comment can bring the rainy day back into my life. Still Working I have been working very hard to get my life into some sort of order. Friendships are brightening my day. Work has …
It Is The Black Hole of Addictions
It is in the need. The intense drive for more. The desperation of getting away. The thought that this will take all of the stress away. How easy it is for any one person to fall into an addiction. How many times have you heard a friend or coworker make the comment, “I am going to need a drink to get over today.” It was recently that I realized how much I was saying that. How I was starting to think that having a glass of wine, or glass of my favorite vodka would make me feel better. So easy …
Trying to discover the process to recovery
Well, it happened again. Another moment in time that takes my mind on a roller coaster filled with drops and loops. I have been spending my days working, talking with friends, and laughing. Feeling good just in general. Still living in chaos, but the days were beautiful. It took one moment in my life to derail it all. I have had messages from friends, phone calls from family, pictures from my past, and even a stranger’s conversation send me into a spiral. And each time I find myself mentally, emotionally, and physically working through a process before I can say, …
Have you ever been addicted?
You hear someone say the word “Addiction” and what is the first thing that comes into your mind? Drugs, alcohol, or gambling? Probably. I bet some of you never thought about food, sex, intimacy, exercise, working, the internet, and so much more. Addiction is commonly described in the 4 C’s: Compulsion, Cravings, Consequences, and Control. Are you compelled to do this, to have this? Do you crave it? Is the consequence of you having/doing this a positive or negative? Can you control your desire for this? So, I have to ask, have you ever been addicted? I have…and I am. …