When was the last time you looked in the mirror?

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and loved what you saw? For me, I can honestly say that it has happened, but it’s rare. Growing up, I was always the bigger girl in school. Started my first diet in 3rd grade. I tried everything I could afford. Weight Watchers, pills, Atkins, counting calories…Then I even had weight loss surgery. Don’t get me wrong, I will be the first one that cheers for anyone considering weight loss surgery. It saved my life and brought me a wonderful son too. But….I still don’t like the way I look. I lost 119 pounds and I still don’t like what I see in the mirror. That is just me with my weight.

I am now into my 40’s and gray hairs are coming in, wrinkles are showing, dark circles under my eyes. All of this is physical though. I can fix all of it. Or at least find ways to hide it. But, when I see myself even after losing all that weight and I still don’t like what I see? That’s no longer physical, but mental. In my heart, I know I look good in my favorite outfit. In my head, I start questioning. Does this color actually look good on me? Is it too tight on me? Then the question that hits everyone, “Will they like the way I look?”

That is the path we all have a tendency to fall into. What will they think? It is a very easy path to get sucked into and a very hard path to get out of. (Insert Hotel California by Eagles music here.)

What about them?

Now think about this. As you are walking around the city or the store, take a look around you. That blonde woman over there that you think is very beautiful, does she like the way she looks all of the time? What about that gorgeous guy standing over there? Does he like the way he looks? Do they stand in their mirrors and say, “Wow! I look great today!” Maybe, but maybe not.

A dear friend of mine was starting to feel down because they did not like the way they looked. They are bigger with some gorgeous curves. I started to think about what I could say to them that could help them to feel better. When friends and family or even myself get into this thought path, it is very hard to pull out of. I could tell my friend that they were beautiful until I was blue in the face. If that was me, I would just smile and ignore the sentiment. Not that I would be rude about it. I just wouldn’t believe them. Because I couldn’t see it.

Do you focus on the Physical or Mental…or both?

What we see in the mirror is all physical. If you have a scar you don’t like, there are ways to cover it or hide it. If you don’t like your hair, you can style it, color it, cut it. For me, after my surgery, I didn’t like the way my face looked. That is a little harder to manage. So, I looked at my hair style and makeup. Now, I like the way I look….well most days.

The hardest part is to keep yourself from falling down too far on the wrong path. That path can lead to darker times, like depression. I am no way suggesting that people go have surgery to fix what they don’t like. What I am offering is a chance to take a closer look at yourself and find a safe and effective way to feel better about yourself. Because in the long run, it is only you that is the best person to get you on the right path.

With great warmth,