As a child, there are many things to be scared of. And as we grow into adults, the fears change. They can become more internal and even more damaging. Fears will develop and grow if they are not destroyed. The good news is there is still time to face your fears and find a happier life on the other side.
Growing with Fear
Growing up, I had a fear of people not liking me. As a child I was a super quiet little girl, and I wanted friends very badly. To be included and feel like a part of the team. Unfortunately, I developed a bad habit of over pleasing to make friends. This only led to others taking advantage of my generosity and kindness.
Today, I fight this fear in a different way. For over 40 years, I have placed every single person ahead of my own values and needs. I lost my self-worth. No longer seeing value in my own life. Well, until recently that is. Over the last couple of years, I have gone from disappearing to becoming more alive. And as a good friend once asked me, “do you value pleasing them or value yourself more?” I value both. And for way too long that scale was dipped in their favor.
Handling Fear
Last week I mentioned “Are you seeking peace or approval?” Everyone deserves a life they are proud of. If you are scared to stand for something you believe in, especially to a friend or loved one, are you really living a life of peace? My life has been filled with constant need of approval from whomever would provide it. Thus, giving power to everyone else in how my life was being handled. No more.
No More
I cannot let my fear of others being upset dictate what I value in my life. Now all of this I am talking about does relate to many areas of life. But I am talking more about the values of how I am treated by friends and family and how I am respected. I have lived too long already letting others treat me how they want and use my kindness to get what they want. I am kind because I know what it feels like to be lost and left behind. I know what it is like to wonder if there is someone in the world that will like me and love me.
Fear can make you do things that ultimately you don’t want to do. Like settle for less than you deserve. And what you deserve is the best. To be cared for and loved. And to be valued and respected by those close to you. Because each one of you deserves to be happy. But you also need to do some work too. Like setting your boundaries and stand firm. Do not let them diminish you in any way. And always remember that you are beautiful and special.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
