I was talking to my son a few days ago about how I wish he would listen to me better. Like when I tell him to do something, it is usually because it is teaching him something, keeping him safe, or guiding him to be respectful. I explained to him that lately it seemed he was more interested in doing what he wanted and would try to find a way to get what he wants done with or without doing what I asked. His response…”Mom, I’m trying to do what you say. But my brain won’t let me. It is like it only wants me to do what I want.”
Wait…What?
This was one of those moments that I had to stop for a quick second to fully listen to his words and to the message he wasn’t saying too. My son, now 8 years old, was very adamant that he couldn’t control what he did. Replying to me that he would push back, and his brain would push harder. (Yes, this is a real conversation I had and the typical conversations we have.)
Different Thinking
This situation had me thinking as to why we do what we do in life. There was a time in the past that my husband would get frustrated with a driver on the road. I had made the statement, “His common sense is different than yours. You find that it would make sense to drive safer. His common sense said that driving faster was better.” Why do we think so differently? How is it that if two people are exposed to the same event in life, can came away with completely different experiences? Why would my husband get so mad at the driver, when I would patiently accept it and continue?
Why is mental health so important
Mental health is so important to acknowledge, but yet so confusing. The effects of mental health, medications on our mental health, experiences in life, and the fact we are all unique make understanding mental health so difficult. Not to mention the impact of mental health on children, adolescents, and adults. Then add in physical illness into the mix and it is no wonder we are still fighting this.
So many people
There are more people in the world effected by mental health disorders each year. Have you ever felt that no one would miss you if you disappeared? Maybe woke up one day and although it was a perfect weather day, you had no motivation to get out of bed? Children by far are impacted by mental health disorders more every year. Whether they are living with the disorder or they have a family member with a disorder.
Physical Health too
Our physical health is also a large contributor of mental health disorders. Have you ever met a person that is battling a disease like cancer and not have some anxiety or depression? Want to know something interesting? Many of the medications that are used for pain, prescribed by physicians were originally developed to fight depression and anxiety. I have a family member taking a medicine for the pain in their legs and feet that is an antidepressant.
Keep Fighting
So, when my son told me that his brain was telling him to do something else, I immediately focused on him. My response to his statement started with “Push back and push harder.” I took the time to explain to him that I might be a little stricter, slightly more aggressive in my message, but the main focus is to make sure he becomes a good man. Explaining that I want him to have friends, be friendly, and most importantly, be respected. That he needs to value people in his life so that they will value him.
Mental Health in us all
We need to open our eyes to mental health. To see that waking up every day, going to work, coming home to raise our families, only to repeat again is not helping our mental health. How can we focus on our health when life, society, and apparently our own brains are fighting us every step of the way? We can choose how to react, but sometimes we need help too. Do not discount your mental health. We all want to look in the mirror and love, appreciate, and empower the person we see. Together we can help each other take those first steps to completing our miles to a healthier mental wellbeing.
(Enjoy these music videos.)
With great warmth,
