“I am not strong enough to handle that.”
“Why can’t I do anything right.”
“That is too difficult.”
Do these statements sound familiar? I can guarantee that either you have said some or you have heard people say them to you. Ever wonder why it is so easy for us to say statements like these? That go to the negative instead of looking for positive. Everything looking dark and grey instead of bright and beautiful. Maybe because we, as humans, are hardwired to focus on negatives first.
How to change negative thinking
Negativity for survival
Think about the caveman coming out of his cave for the beginning of the day. Do you think he walks out and pays attention to the bright sun and the fresh trees? Or is he immediately wondering what ferocious animal is waiting in the shadows to attack him? As an act of survival, man is constantly focused on the negative. The issues come in when we are so focused on the negative, we forget about anything positive in life.
Hope for the positive
Ever heard of the phrase “Hope for the Best and Plan for the Worst.” This is a very good mantra to live by. BUT…if you begin to get wrapped up in the planning of the worst, the best may just walk on by. Think of it this way, are you too worried about doing a good job that you miss an important assignment? Maybe too scared to talk to the cute guy or girl and soon they walk away with someone else? There is no growth without a few risks.
Too focused
Recently, I was focused on my assumption of someone’s reaction that I completely forgot about myself. I have talked about how we need to make sure we take care of ourselves in life. Part of that is to make sure we take the time to open our eyes to something positive every day. We are all struggling through life. Whether you are struggling in school, work, with difficult people in your life, or grieving the loss of loved ones. We have something in our lives that is throwing us into a whirlwind. You must force yourself sometimes to stop. Stop and take that much needed breath. So, you can recenter, refocus. See the positive that is still there waiting for you.
Thinking too hard
I have been one that overthinks. It is very easy for me to do so. If I do not have precise answers, I will think of every outcome or reason I can come up with. Too many of those thoughts are variations of blame on me. Or they are outcomes of someone not liking me. I get so drawn up in the possibility of something negative happening, I lose the idea that something good could happen. Then when that good thing does happen, I am surprised and lost to what I should do. Another example is why I am very quiet. I have always been scared to say something or do something that will make me look foolish or naïve. So, instead voicing my opinion, I stay quiet. Then my questions don’t get answered and my opinions and thoughts don’t get voiced.
Don’t miss out
We cannot live through life so focused on what might happen. Or what could happen. We need to step into life each day with some thought of gratitude. A thought of positivity. I bet, if you were to stop right now (hopefully you are not driving) and list at least 5 things that are a positive element in your life right now, you would be able to list it and many more. That right there is why we cannot let the negative wires to control us anymore. “If you are positive, you will see opportunities instead of obstacles.” – Confucius
Please enjoy this video and music video.
With great warmth,
