Unfortunately, in today’s world, bullying is still evident. This past week, my son was a victim of bullying by a few kids at his school. When he told me about it, I immediately sent a message to the principal stating the situation. I then sat my son down to discuss the event and some of the steps he can take to fight back against bullying, well that don’t involve fists. The school addressed the issue and assured both myself and my son that there should be no further incidents. This whole scenario had me thinking about how bullying is not just with kids. Bullies can be found in various ages.
The Bully
The definition of a bully is a person that uses force, tactics, and coercion to manipulate another for their gains. I bet that everyone reading this had a person come to mind. It could have been someone at work, or at school. Maybe you have a family member or “so-called” friend like that. No matter who, this person is not a child. But they find ways to manipulate others to get what they want. That is a bully.
Manipulation can be in various forms. But a bully will find a way to continuously torment others. They find something they believe is a weakness and then bring attention to it. Just enough to say that if they don’t get what they want, then your weakness will become known to everyone. And trust me, the power of guilt is very strong.
The Victim
A child can tell an adult to have the bullying stopped. But what do adults do when they are bullied by other adults? Who can they turn to so it will stop? We have all seen stories of parents bullying their children into stealing. Where do those children go to get it to stop?
Bullying is all around us. But are we doing enough to fix the problem? No! Children grow by learning from adults and the environment. Take a look around. What our children are seeing are adults that cannot agree on anything. Arguing and using tactics to make sure they are the better one. Not caring about who they hurt in the process. That is what our children are learning.
Lasting
The effect of bullies on their victims last years. Sometimes they can last over lifetimes. I remember one set of bullies I had when I was growing up. It was two girls at my Junior High School. All they would do is come up to me ask me one question, “how long has it been?” Now you are probably thinking this is a simple question and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that. Except the context that question was made from. You see, they wouldn’t tell me anything more about the nature of the question. And as a child, no matter the answer I gave them, they would use that information to turn it around against me.
Memories of childhood will follow a person. I am in my late 40’s and I remember the days the girls would find me. And now, I worry about how I explain things to others. Worry about getting all of the details from questions. I doubt myself in what I say. Thinking that I am too naïve to be around others. I ended up giving power to others over who I was.
Be Strong Against Bullies
Bullies tend to find someone that they feel is easy to torment. Someone they can tear down, so that they can be lifted up. Many times, those bullies hide their own self-doubt and personal torment behind the actions. But to truly stop a bully is to show your strength. Stand tall and believe in yourself. Know that you are very beautiful. Believe in your power and abilities. Trust in yourself that you are smart and resilient. Understand that you are enough. Because honestly, your best shield from any bully, is your self-love.
I love you all.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
