Ever have that one kid in your class that would tease others? Did you have that one child that would threaten others all the time? Or how about now, do you have a coworker or boss using their authority to make you do work that is wrong, threatening to fire you if you don’t? Is there a family member harassing you, saying they will tell on you or expose something you did if you didn’t do something for them?
Shapes & Sizes of a Bully
Bullies can come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and ages. Unfortunately for today’s society, they can also attack in the cyber world. Bullying is becoming more prevalent today with the growth of social media. Attacking someone through the disguise of the internet also pushed the act of bullying to greater numbers.
I was targeted from 2nd grade through to high school, which led to a 6-year depression. As I discussed my experience, others could relate. Too recent, my own son had to deal with a child in kindergarten. In kindergarten these kids are only 5 years old, too young to have to worry about bullies. I have other family members also targeted, including one that was attacked over social media.
Not just kids
Kids are not the only ones attacked. How many times have we heard of companies pushing their employees to work in unusual circumstances or just work extra hours? If they didn’t, they were told they would be fired. A boss is not the only possible bully in the workplace. That coworker that likes to highlight any of your struggles just so they can get the better job…
At home
What about at home? Remember that bullies are of all shapes and sizes. Is your brother or sister constantly reminding you that know what you did just so you will take the fall for something they did? The hard one to think about, and even harder for me to say, the parent that pushes their child to make bad choices like steal or lie, by using their own love as something they have to earn.
What is a bully?
The topic of bullies is complex. Right now, I want to focus on recognizing a bully. I had a discussion with my son a few weeks ago about this topic. I had to remind him that he had a few interactions with his friends that could have come across as a bully. But, what really got him was something he tried saying to me.
I knew my son was just joking, but I wanted to help him understand that it still was not right. He would tell me, “Mom, if you don’t let me watch my videos on TV, then I will not give you any hugs or kisses.” Again, I knew that he didn’t fully understand that the power of his words were ones that could be from a bully. So, I stopped him immediately in his thought to talk to him. Having already had the experience this at school, this allowed me to help him see his words were not correct. We casually talked about what a bully was and we went over what he had said to me to help him understand better.
He doesn’t say it anymore.
What about me?
That interaction with my son did get me thinking. Was there a time that I could have come across as a bully to a friend, a coworker, my own family? I would like to think I wouldn’t. Could I be so sure?
In my opinion, this is a society epidemic. One that only seems to grow as new social media outlets become available. The act and the experience of being bullied can easily lead to a path of more destructive and harmful issues. Bringing awareness to bullying not only in schools with our kids, but also at work and home can save lives. https://www.stopbullying.gov/
