It feels like a dirty word sometimes. Change. One single word with such a powerful meaning that gives everyone such stress. “To change, or not to change. That is the question!”
Last week in my post Want to Take a Drive Through Change I talked about making a change in my life as I realized that I was not as happy as I wanted to be. There was an underlying message, though. No change comes without a choice. Even not changing is a choice. No change will occur unless you, and only you choose to want a change.
“I should not have to change to fit in!”
“I wish I could change him to be better.”
“No need to change yourself for others.”
“You will not grow unless you change.”
What am I supposed to do? To change or not to change? Society confuses everyone when it comes to change. So, let us dive a little deeper.
WHAT IT MEANS
Changing is to make something different. I am currently teaching my son that everyone on this planet is the same, yet different. Confused? Yeah, so was he. I explained to him that every person, is unique and special. Recently, he had to start wearing glasses due to a lazy left eye. I made the choice to have him see the doctor about the eye. I made the choice for him to get glasses. Does it change him? Yes, by allowing him to see properly and hopefully avoid painful headaches from his eyes. Is he different, yes, and no. His glasses are new. His personality and his caring nature are still the same.
DO I HAVE TO CHANGE
No one can force you to change. Unfortunately, peer pressure, bullying, and anxiety can make you feel like you must change. In a perfect world, everyone would look in the mirror and love what they saw. They would love who they are and what they look like. The world is not perfect. I, myself still look in the mirror and cringe at times. I had weight loss surgery over 7 years ago and lost 119 pounds. Even then, I found things I didn’t like.
Do you have to change for someone or something special? No. You are a unique and beautiful person. Those freckles on your face you don’t like, are beautiful and rare. You have a few extra pounds on you? Yeah, well so do I. I mentioned my weight loss surgery earlier. What I didn’t mention yet, was the 30+ pounds of pregnancy weight I am still holding onto from carrying my now 6-year son.
SOCIETY CHANGE
Is changing yourself the way to go to fit in with the “it” crowd? Probably not. What does it say about those that only like you because you now look, or act like them? To me, I would think they are insecure about themselves. That they only feel good if everyone else is like them. Another words, peer pressure, bullying and anxiety.
Now think of this. You go on with life believing that for a person to be happy, they must have kids. (Hypothetically, of course.) Is that a way to view the world? I don’t think so. Can a person be happy without kids? Of course. Some people cannot have kids and are still perfectly happy. Maybe those are ones that spend more time with charities and schools. So, in this scenario, changing the way you believe the world should be, is not such a bad thing.
Or how about, believing that a person must be a certain weight to be happy. Again, not so realistic. In today’s world, more men and women are living comfortable lives while indulging in that hamburger. Even in advertising and modeling, those they would classify as “plus-size” are becoming more popular as they truly represent society as it is today.
Change is a scary word. Change is a powerful word. But, change is nothing, without choice.
To change or not to change. It is always your choice.
With great warmth,
