It is that time of the year when school is back in session. Some schools have been going for a month already while there are some beginning in a week or two. We parents are eager for our little ones to get back out there to learn new things and meet new friends. Those starting new schools and those starting college have the added excitement of new facilities, teachers, and for some to be away from the family.
School time of fun
School is supposed to be exciting, and maybe it once was. But today, going to school is beginning to fill with fear, anxiety, and stress. The constant need to be liked, to be smarter than the others, to do well, and to be popular is placing a heavy strain on our children. Nowadays, children are struggling instead of playing. They are tired instead of happy.
Now
My son has started the 3rd grade now. At 8-yrs old, he is your average boy. Not one for sports but has a competitive edge. Finding his strength in Math and an imagination that is untamed. Loves his animals and battling the zombies on the computer. All of this is so wonderful. So why is it that every day is a fight to go to school? Not because he would rather stay home and watch videos. Only because he doesn’t like school.
And Then
I remember growing up and going to the elementary school across the street from my house. Playing with a friend or two. Going into class and the anxiety began. The excitement of being away from home, but then the impact of the other kids…well let’s just say I didn’t care for school much either.
Every child listens, learns, and understands differently. Add in ADHD, ADD, and any other disorder, and school becomes more of a struggle than a place to learn and have fun. I have friends and family that are teachers and I am in awe of how they are trying everything they can to help their students. But as a parent, I wish I could do more. Maybe I can.
School Impacts
I was bullied at school in 2nd grade. My son was bullied as early as kindergarten. As society becomes even more involved in who has more and who can do something better, the kids are learning from this. Did you know that children learn the most in life through their environment? Special Ed Resource – Children Learn Through Their Environment This is not just at home, but at school too. At home, they may see their older brothers and sisters get mad at a friend. Or they could see Mom or Dad reacting to the news in a biased way. Then they go to school. Another child may not know about the new movie or may just simply answer a question wrong, and the other kids laugh.
Exposure
This is the time that children are being molded and guided in their life. The scary part is we as parents can do very little about the exposure. What I mean is that we drop off our children at the school and for the next 6-8 hours, they are away from us. We cannot be there to watch what happens or who they interact with. Then they come home, and we may never know what could be going on.
All Through School
Don’t forget the teenagers. These are children on their way to becoming adults, trying to discover their identity in the world. Leaving high school and making their way either into college or figuring out what to do in life. Then there are those that are in the middle of high school, having pressures placed on them to be a part of the right crowds. Sports becoming a way to get noticed by the right people. Clubs to join, grades to maintain, and the start of finding their first job.
Do More
Our children are starting another chapter in their life that we have little control over. Friends, teachers, neighbors, family, and anyone they come in contact with, are the ones that affect our children. The world is getting scarier and scarier every year. And I personally do not feel that our schools are doing enough to help our children. So, we need to step up and do more.
Reading for Parents
Children will not talk to their parents easily. We become the last to know and almost until it is too late. That doesn’t mean that we just give up. Since we may not get everything directly from them, we need to go around them. Talk to the teachers more. Talk to other parents of the children in class. Reach out to the school social worker or psychologist. And most importantly, pay attention to your child. They may not tell us everything, but their movements, faces, and bodies will tell us more. Watch how your child reacts to talk about school. See if there is any difference in their actions from day to day. Keep a close eye on how they are treating themselves.
The Pressure
Society, parents, schools, and teachers may be unknowingly placing added pressure onto the children. Need to earn better grades. Do better on tests. Pay closer attention to the teacher. Do more, be more, have more. Not every child is going to be the smartest, fastest, or the best at everything. Should they want to do more, be more, have more? Yes. But the difference is letting them know, it is okay if they tried their best and it didn’t work out this time. Don’t let society, school, and life push your child too far. It should never be “do it or get out of the way.” The “try and try again until you can do it” is a better way to go.
Schools are in session again and our children will be exposed to more impacts from society. Parents are not able to be with them 24 hours of the day, 7 days a week. But we can be there for the questions, the changes, and the support. Because they will most definitely need it.
Enjoy these music videos.
With great warmth,
Toby Mac – It starts with me
