I have been seeing various TikTok videos and reels on Facebook where someone adds their video to a voice asking if they were the only ones in that awkward stage of being happy, hurt, and healing all at the same time. This got me thinking (like I need a reason). How many times has someone asked me “how are you doing?” And then, in my mind you run through a very long list of emotions and adjectives that would describe me, but all I say is, “Fine.”
Too Many Emotions
Over the last few weeks… no, maybe it has been months, ok…a long time now, I have been through most of the emotions that you can think of. Yet, every day I still get up and go through my daily routines as if there is nothing more going on. Waking up, taking care of the family, going to work, coming home and feeding the family, then my schoolwork, and then everyone is off to bed. All of that to wake up and repeat. Having little time to stop and find out how do I really feel.
Feeling it All
I can laugh with friends. Cry at movies. Yell in the car at the other drivers. I can also dance to my favorite song. But if I were to really look deep at how am I feeling, there is too much. Too many to list. Way too many to identify. I miss friends and family I haven’t talked to in a long time. Sad that my dad is not here to talk to. I worry about my future and about my son. Then my anxiety will come up into my thoughts. Depression will kick in as I think more about myself and my life. It is very easy to find ourselves in a pool of various emotions. Almost a sense of drowning in thoughts and feelings. Wondering if we are the only ones that feel this way. The only ones that know what we are going through. Scared that we will not be able to be happy again. Trying to figure out if we should give up or fight.
There is Hope
First of all, you are not alone. There are many of us that get trapped into this pool trying to figure out what is happening. But second, of all…Fight! Try to use any and all emotions, feelings, thoughts, strength, resources you can to fight your way out. Because it is okay to ask for help. It is alright to say, “I am not doing okay today.” I have mentioned many times about checking on your friends and family, even if they seem happy at the time. Talked about how it is very easy to hide behind the mask of happiness, but much more difficult to pretend to be sad.
Don’t Ignore Your Feelings
We need to remember that trying to ignore our emotions and our thoughts can only lead to dangerous parts of our life. All you need is just 5 minutes to tell yourself, “I am proud of you.” Maybe a 10-minute walk will help. Or even a few minutes to focus your mind on you. If you are finding yourself becoming more frustrated with life or dwelling on a worry, it is time to recenter. Because when it comes down to the basic, the only way you will be best for your family and friends, is to be the best for you. Your happiness can only start with you and how you see yourself. Not just by looking in the mirror. But if I were to ask you right now, give me 1 word to describe you…what would you say? Is it positive like, beautiful, proud, driven, or strong? Or would you say something negative like, sad, lonely, tired, ugly, or useless?
I am proud of you for getting up every day. We can see a strong person that doesn’t give up. A beautiful person with a good heart. Yes…I see you!
With great warmth,
