Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and yet the most stressful job you have in your life. Whether you have adopted, are caring for another’s child, or had children yourself, being a parent and guardian to a child of any age, can bring both worry and love at the same time.
This week’s post is one the hardest I am having to write. I am sitting here, right now, thinking about my son and how he is doing at school. He is 6 years old and in 1st grade. These early years of his life are some of the most crucial in his development. I want to protect him from all things bad and shower him in all things good. Deep down, I know that would be a disservice to him in the long run. But it is still so exceedingly difficult not to. Then I think of my parents and my own childhood. Knowing now, (not so much when I was younger) that they too, were trying to protect and shower me.
One of my biggest worries for my son is if he is really happy. Being only 6 years old, he has already experienced bullying in his life. Just last year, another child was bullying him, trying to get him to hurt others. He has also had some teasing by other kids. This makes me worry about his mental health. Like every parent, I want my child to be healthy and happy. But what can I do?
WHAT CAN I DO AS A PARENT?
What is a parent to do to help their child? As I mentioned last week in “Society Needs to do Better for Our Kids”, schools can only do so much for our children and because of budgets and schoolboards, there is not much they do for mental health. As a parent, I want more for my child. Where can I go to get help or at least more information?
NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS
In my research, I found many sites that I can turn to for guidance. The National Alliance for Mental Illness (www.nami.org) is one of many sites on the internet that parents can turn to. There are more than 600 NAMI organizations throughout the 50 states. NAMI provide support, education, and awareness so that people and families can lead better lives.
COMMUNITY ORGANIZATIONS
The internet is filled with support organizations like NAMI.org and SAHM (Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine). What if I don’t want to look online? Parents can also reach out to their local churches for added support. Many religions promote community. It is in this community that support is found. Yes, it can be scary to talk about problems or questions you have. If you don’t, then you will not get the help you need.
THE NEED TO TALK
The biggest advice I can give anyone who has questions or worry about their child… Just reach out to a friend, a relative, the church, or go online to a support line and TALK! If you don’t ask the questions, you will not receive the answers.
NO PERFECT PARENT
If you are anything like me, you are scared of the judgments or pity looks that may come from others. Yes, this can happen, especially when you are talking with friends and family. You will find yourself probably asking, “Am I a good parent?” The answer is yes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. What you are is a parent that does whatever they can to give all they can to their child.
MY LIFE HELPS
There is still one thing that many parents don’t realize. This is something that gives one of the largest impacts on their children. One thing that we can do for our children, is to take care of ourselves. Our own lives and how we live them, shows our children how they should be treated. Showing them how to handle different situations. Letting your children know that if you are scared, feeling down and lonely, having thoughts about people that are not so nice, it is okay to ask for help.
OPEN TO TALK
The only way you will know if you need guidance or your child does, is to talk. First, start talking to your children. Every day ask them how their day was. Always ask about the other children they play with. Ask as many questions as you can get away with. That is until they tell you to stop. Show an interest in their every day, an interest in who and what is around them. Then watch them. See how they light up when talking about their friends. How excited they get or more importantly how they don’t get when talking about certain people. This is the first step.
WATCH LIKE A HAWK
Your children have personalities that are so expressive, they can tell you a whole story in one face. That cute face can also tell you when there is trouble. My son loves to go outside to play with his friends. I remember one day that when I asked him if he wanted do go outside and his answer was no. He just wanted to stay in bed and watch videos. “RED FLAG!” I knew that my son’s personality had changed and I needed to find out why. Luckily, that day was because he wasn’t feeling good and some medicine later, he wanted to go outside again. But, what if it wasn’t that?
Take some time, just 5 minutes and sit and talk with your children. Whether you do it at the dinner table, when they come home from school, or right before bed. You need only 5 minutes of your time to talk and listen. Again, you don’t ask questions, you won’t get answers.
With great warmth,
