We all go through so much in our lives. But add in family and friends that are also going through things, your day can go from pleasant to frustrating very quickly. Picture this, you are a parent of a teenager. We all know that kids at teen age can go from super happy to in tears within seconds. But as a parent we want to help our children. So, you ask, is there anything wrong? By the way they say ‘no’, you immediately know there is something wrong. They won’t open up. Very adamant that there is nothing wrong. You can feel yourself getting frustrated and angry. You can see very clearly that there is something that is affecting them. But they just stay quiet. How do you help someone who doesn’t want it?
Human Nature
It is human nature to want to help your loved ones. Especially if you see them suffering, you have a need to make it right for them. This person in front of you is showing emotional signs of shutting down, keeping quiet, temperament is volatile, and you may even start seeing physical changes too. Not eating as much, not sleeping very well, or their appearance is changing. And all you want to do is help them. Make them feel better. Anything to get them to smile again. It is not that easy, though, is it?
Helping Children
When you are faced with a loved one that just won’t talk to you about something that bothers them, don’t give up hope. For kids, talking to their parents is very daunting. Scared of judgment or the idea that they may be dismissed over-rides the ability to open up. This is when you start looking for support groups and professionals to help. Maybe a social worker at school or a community center can offer guidance. Find someone that your teenager or child feels comfortable with to talk to. You may not find out the problems right away, but you can feel better that you brought them the help they needed.
Helping Love
When you are faced with a loved one like a family member or spouse that is suffering, this is a little more difficult. We adults tend to get stuck in our ways and beliefs. We form an opinion, and it is stuck with us for years. There may be a time when you may have to step back from a loved one. It will be one of the hardest things you do. Especially if it is a spouse, the issue comes in that you are too close to the person. Your emotional state combined with their emotions, doesn’t allow for an objective solution to be found. This is when you have to be firm and tell them they need help. Tell them that they are loved, and you will be there for them every step of the way, but they need a professional to really help them.
Listening
My friends and family know that if they ever need someone to vent to, someone that just listens to them without any fear of judgment, they can always come to me. But I also know my limitations. My own weaknesses that I face daily. My own emotions and the fact that I care so much about every one of them. There is a reason I didn’t follow the path of becoming a licensed therapist. My tendency to care too much for everyone I meet would pull me too far into a dark path. I know I help by listening, but even I found having a professional to go to has made my life easier to understand.
It is okay
If you find yourself, a loved one, spouse, child, friend, anyone that is struggling, let them know they are loved. That there are people that care about them. Support them in every step of their life. Let them know that the world is so much more beautiful with them in it. And then let them know that it is okay to ask for help. That we can all use a little extra assistance at times. I know I did.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
