Is it me, or does it feel like suddenly life became the Energizer Bunny and has not stopped trying to make each day harder? There are days when it feels as if nothing seems to go right. Every now and then you get a glimpse of something good, only to be faced with more hurdles in front of you. It is overwhelming. Completely exhausting. To be tested through every second of the day, week, and even month, just to try and make some headway. I get so tired of being tired.
Warriors
As I have been writing this blog I read through many quotes. Ones about strength and power are very common. Even came across one saying, “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.” Honestly, I don’t want to be a warrior anymore. I wouldn’t mind giving someone else the chance to be strong for once. Because this is too exhausting.
Recently, I was asked by my friend if I was okay. Admitting that I had been struggling the past couple of days, she looked at me cautiously. I had to confess that I withheld going to her for support, because I knew she was going through things in her own life. This actually upset her. The response was, “so it is okay for us to burden you, but not for you to burden us?” In this journey, I have become used to being the one that everyone comes to. That person that will listen to anything you want to say, holding zero judgment. The problem is who is my rock to go to that will listen to anything I want to say and hold no judgment?
Weight of the world
I have been faced with emotional turmoil, confusion over my career path, raising an 8 yr. old, and now my puppy hurt himself. Too many times I have tried to hold myself together. Allowing those around me to fall apart on my shoulders. Suddenly it feels as if the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders. I sit there, absorbed in my thoughts, my emotions and feeling as if I need to be strong for everyone else.
My own burden
How tiring it is to always feel that there is no one to help you. Draining in always feeling like you have to push on. The problem is, I don’t need to feel this way. Why? Because I do have people I can go to. My friends, my family, and my therapist. The hurdle that is in my way? My own mind believing I am in some way a burden. Not one person has ever made me feel, commented, and acknowledged that I am in any way a burden on their time or their life. Has there been times that it was not the best time to talk to them? Yes. As it is with anyone.
Support
I don’t have to hold all of this weight. There are people that will support me and listen when I need them. All that I need to do, is let go of my own judgment. The belief that I am in some way a burden. And added weight to their shoulders. The truth is, the more you let go and share with your support team, the more you relieve the stress from your shoulders and theirs. Think of it this way. Those fluffy little dandelions in the grass. When you blow on them, they fly apart. Spreading the seeds all around. Let your worries, your stress, and your troubles fly to your support team.
Helping Others
Another way to think about it, was something another friend helped me with. One of my closest friends commented that as they help me, I have in turn helped them. Without me knowing, the advice and talks we would have, made them realize that they were not following their own guidance. So, when they went back through their lives and troubles, they discovered that it too was helping them. Allowing them to see their life in a new light as they were trying to help me see mine. Let your support team help you. You never know. It could also save their lives too.
Enjoy the video.
With great warmth,
