I came across an article from PsychCentral that was titled “9 Different Types of Grief”. I had not even read the article, and the title alone opened a flood of emotions. Grief is something we all go through many times in our lives. But do we really understand grief and how we are able to cope through it? Honestly, I thought I did. Until last year. When I was made aware of grief I had not even considered.
Defining Grief
When you hear the word “grief”, many think of the loss of a loved one. Whether family or friend. That is not necessarily the true meaning. Yes, grief is the strong emotion that a person feels from the death or loss of a loved one. However, the strong emotion we feel from the loss of a job, a friendship, or a relationship. How do I know this? Last year, I had lost my dad. A month later lost my dog to cancer too. But what surprised me, I had also started grieving the loss of a friend that was still alive but had to work through their own situation for a while.
The Loss
It was the surprise depression I experienced from losing the connection I had to this person in correlation to the death of my loved ones, that had me spiraling. When I addressed this to my therapist, it was her that made me realize that, here I was grieving my dad and my dog, but I was also grieving a third thing, my friend.
Coping
Grief can hit hard. Or it can make you numb. In the article by PsychCentral, they talk about the various ways a person can grieve and some suggestions on how to cope through it. Personally, I have discovered that the way I grieve is either abrupt or absent. I found this out as I had started to lose my grandparents. Those that I had a chance to see, experience their fight through their illnesses, and was with them at the time of their death, my grief was more absent. I had time to mentally accept the situation and disperse my emotions over days, weeks, and months. So, when the time came, the loss I felt was more accepting, but none the less powerful. The family members that passed away suddenly, where I did not have time to come to the realization there was a possibility, the grief was much more abrupt. Like a wave of crying, sadness, and depression.
What is right for you
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Grieving is the process of emotions through the stages of loss. The only thing that is right or wrong, is the process best for you. Another words, don’t let anyone push you into doing something you are not ready to do. You need to listen to your mind and body, because that is what is going to tell you if you are ready to leave the house, see clothes in the closet, or go to your favorite restaurant. Allow yourself to take the time you need to get through each day.
Reasons for Grief
Many are probably still not seeing how anything other than a death of a loved one could be considered grief. So, let me ask you this. Your best friend, right now, suddenly came to you and said that they were moving out of the country. You were no longer going to be able to just call them whenever you wanted. You couldn’t see them when you had a bad day. There were not going to be any girls’ night out or boys’ night at the bar.
Or how about those that have a loved one in the military. Any time they get orders for shipping out for months to years. Little to no contact and no knowledge if they are okay or not. This sudden loss of someone in your life that you once had a connection to and now, not. That wave of emotion is grief.
The connection
Grieving is not just the loss of life, but a loss of a connection to someone or something you hold at the highest level in your own life. It is the process in which we experience a myriad of emotions from sadness, fear, anger, acceptance, and peace. It is okay to grieve. Okay to take the time you need to work through, experience, process, and accept. All of this as long as you do it on your time. At your speed. But the most important, keep talking to someone you trust. Time and support is all we need to help us all get through each day.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
