You ever get those days that it feels like everything is coming down on you? So much going on at work, too much at school, overwhelming family life, and then add relationships on top of all of that. Too many thoughts. Way too many feelings. And all you can do is take one step in front of the other like a robot through your life. You suddenly feel numb. Not really sad, or happy, or even…well anything.
Just a robot
I’ve had too many robotic days in my life. Each day blended into the other. Thoughts in my head swarmed around clouding my emotions. I didn’t care about things around me. Taking care of my family was all routine. Whatever happened was just accepted and I moved on. There was no part of my days that was absorbed. And as they continued to fly by, I couldn’t remember much about them days after.
Numb
This numb feeling is common when we have so many thoughts going on in our head that there is nothing to really focus on. For me, I had my dad dealing with cancer, my schoolwork, my job, worrying about my mom, caring for my son and husband, and somewhere in there I was supposed to also care about myself. I had so much going on in my life that for a long time, I felt robotic and numb to the world. Something good happened? Yeah, okay. Didn’t get the grade I wanted. Whatever.
Processing
Feeling numb is how my mind and body was processing everything I was encountering each day. My problem was that I was feeling like this for months that lead into years. I began to feel that there was no end in sight, and I had little to really care about. This is the point that something needed to be done before I got too far down the dark path. The good thing was I had a couple of really good friends that noticed my situation and helped pull me back.
Feeling
How can someone cope with the numb feeling? Because that is just it. You are still feeling, it is just a static dull awareness. One of the things my friends helped me do was to categorize everything I had going on in my life into those I could control and those I could not. My dad’s cancer was something I could not control. Some areas of school, work and my family, I could control and some I couldn’t. But one area I had the most control, was ME. I had to start caring about me, learning to love me, so that I can handle those other areas better. To be stronger and confident.
Pulling my energy away from those areas I could not control and redirecting them to those I can and to myself, I began to feel differently. Times when I would laugh again. Even cried when I needed to release some frustration or sadness energy. I began to look at my world in a new way.
Don’t forget about me
I still get numb occasionally. That feeling doesn’t fully go away. I have just learned how to not stay there for too long. Because I like to laugh. To dance to the music, I love so much. To smile more. Even with all I still have in my life, I try to remind myself to think about one thing. To take care of my family and loved ones, I need to take care of myself. I am no good to them if I am swallowed up in a dull routine. In the end, I cannot be the best for them, if I am not the best for me.
Take care of you, always! You are too special.
With great warmth,
