They are laughing, smiling, dancing around, but did you know they are fighting depression? Maybe they are sitting in the corner, quiet and reserved. Are you aware they are fighting anxiety? Mental health has a stigma in the world that a depressed person is always withdrawn and sad. That a person who has anxiety is always nervous and fidgety. We don’t always look and act like that.
I look happy
Over the last few weeks, I have laughed with friends and sang my heart out to rock music. I enjoyed some time with my friends and neighbors at a barbeque for the holiday, while watching our kids on the water slide. Even joked with my brother for his birthday. All of that while I silently fought my thoughts and emotions of worry, loneliness, self-doubt, and overall sadness. I lost count how many times I thought about wanting to disappear.
I act happy
Every day, when I go to work, I fight my anxiety of falling from off the hallway of our 3rd floor office that overlooks the building lobby. Not to mention, how many times I tighten up when cars get too close to me than I like. Or whenever I hear a creak in the floor of my second story bedroom. Of each of these, not one has stopped from going to work, driving my car, or sleeping in my room.
Images may be deceiving
Mental health is not as visible as physical health. You cannot easily see when someone is struggling to wake up each morning or face people every day. But I can guarantee that there is at least 1-2 people in every group of 10 that is. There are times when I wonder what it would be like to be happy. To not worry about what others think of me. Or to understand that worrying about something can make things worse in life.
Needing help
We are constantly hearing about being kind to everyone. That you just don’t know what they are having to deal with in their lives. This is very true. Maybe that person is having a beer because he wanted to enjoy the time with his friends and socialize. But maybe it was also so he can drink as much as he can to forget some of the problems he is facing. Could the girl over there dancing, be friendly and having fun? Or is it that she is silently trying to forget the hurtful words someone had said to her?
Just ask
Just because someone is smiling does not always mean all is good. If you have a friend, call you up and they want to talk…then talk. Take a minute to listen to what they have to say. One of your friends or family members hasn’t been in touch lately, reach out. Not just them. You know your best friend you talk to every day? When was the last time you asked them, “hey, how are you really doing? Are you okay?”
Don’t Stop!
The biggest thing you need to remember…don’t stop asking. I’ve had people ask me for several years. It took someone special, who saw I was getting quieter than usual, that reached out to tell me, they saw me. They saw that I was struggling in my silence and that they were there for me when I needed someone. Not everyone will want to talk. Don’t stop. Not everyone will express everything. Don’t stop. Keep reminding them that they have someone in their life who cares, supports, and will be there for them. Be their moonlight out of the darkness.
Enjoy these music videos.
With great warmth,
