In today’s day in age, it seems that emotions of all kinds are running high in the world. Emotions about events on the news and emotions we have during our regular daily grind. Everyday we deal with a wide range of emotions that can control each minute of our lives. The trick…. Can we control them?
Remember when…
Do you remember the last time you were genuinely happy? For many, that is an extremely hard question. Emotions that we experience each minute of our lives can range from a form of happiness to downright depression. When was the last time you felt the emotion of contentment and actual happiness? Not easy to pinpoint, is it?
Some of you may find it easier to hone in on the emotion, that time of your life that was bright. Running high on the moment in your daily grind that the world seemed almost perfect, almost. Can you remember the events leading up to the that special time? What about the people? As I have been known to say, “the characters in our life story”, what did they do or say to help build that emotion in you? Did it just happen or did the highlight build inside you before it exploded?
Happiness, why?
I picked happiness for a reason. How easy is it to say that “I am not feeling special today.” How many times have you found yourself saying “I am tired of this.” Or said “I am so mad (or other expletives) right now I can’t see straight.” I sit here writing this trying to remember when I was really happy and actually felt happy. I can see people replying “My wedding” or “When my son/daughter was born.” Honestly, I wasn’t happy then.
I was Happy once
There was one time I felt a true sense of happiness. I was in my early 20’s, maybe around 21 or 22. Having spent my 4 years of high school depressed and into my 2nd year of Community College depressed, I constantly felt lonely. Only having one friend that I thought was my best friend and I tried dating a little, but that wasn’t working either. Not feeling special or beautiful, I was in a dark place in my life. A flood of dark emotions surrounded me every day. Except one day.
The Change
One day I was driving to my so-called best friend’s place to hang out with her. When I got there 10 minutes later, she tells me she changed her mind and was about to leave to go out to her sister’s place 30 minutes away and even asked if I could drive her. Something at that moment snapped. The darkness disappeared; the clouds cleared away. Starting to see this person for who she really was, I just turned around and walked back to my car and began to drive home. Remembering looking up into the blue sky without a single cloud and telling myself, “It seems brighter today. I don’t remember it being this bright 10 minutes ago.” Found myself feeling lighter too. The emotions that were running through me were peaceful. I started to actually feel happy for once.
Don’t get me wrong, I was very “unhappy” with my so-called friend and that day was the start of the end of our friendship. But, the feeling of happiness filled me for a few days afterward. I felt like a new person. Like I had some control over my life for once. Why didn’t I say my wedding or my son? Very simple. At my wedding, I was too nervous and I wanted everything so perfect that I kept pinpointing things that needed to be improved or changed. I never relaxed. My son, well, besides coming into the world in about 4 hours, I suffered from post-partum depression for a little while. My son now at 6 years old, is my world and can negotiate with the big guys.
The control
Emotions are tricky little suckers that weasel in your life. Running high on love and peace or brimming with doubt and sadness. To truly have control of one’s life is not to control the emotions, but to understand them. Why are you feeling this way? Narrow down the events to the smallest detail you can. To a pinpoint of your life story. You may discover something about yourself as you do. I am not going to sit here to say, “change this or that and you will be happy.” I know life does not work like that. What I am going to say… Take a second, listen to your emotion and let yourself feel. Give yourself a chance to understand why you are feeling this way. Narrow down the elements in your life that bring this emotion to light. I hope you will learn from this emotion as it may teach you a little more about yourself you may not already know. But please, if the emotion is too great to understand, reach out to a friend, family, a doctor or even me. We will listen and hopefully together… help.
With great warmth,
