Anxiety is the world’s most common mental health disorder according to the World Health Organization. Anxiety has multiple elements that can be defined. For example, PTSD, sensory anxiety, phobias, and social anxiety disorder are just a few types of anxiety. But what I wanted to talk about is more regarding the person dealing with the anxiety and the people in their lives. Because what many of us don’t realize is that we have these main triggers, but it can also be the people and the environment around us that adds to our anxiety. It is as if life is saying, “what’s one more worry in your life going to do?”
What it is like
You are going about your day, trying to keep moving forward. As you push to meet your deadlines at work, a coworker friend comes up, frantic because they are trying to plan a meeting and could use the help. (We won’t mention that they waited until the last minute to start working on it.) You want to help this person, so suddenly you are getting frantic trying to help get things done. Your anxiety has just been elevated from this coworker friend.
From all sides
Think about this. You had a long tiring day at work, and all you want to do right now is to be alone in your room for one hour. But you walk in the door to questions like, “what’s for dinner?” and “I can’t find my special item, can you help me?” The anxiety of walking in the door is now elevated in two seconds. What many people don’t realize is that much of the anxiety we go through and experience comes from those around us. We already have worries from our past we are trying to work through. But what is one more worry?
Anxiety doesn’t hide
Have you ever felt like you don’t want to go to work…ever? Ok, maybe everyone has. But have you ever felt like you don’t want to go home either? How about feeling like you don’t want to be around people? Anxiety is an element of fear. The constant worry about what might happen, could happen, and how much we despise being near it. Anxiety can make a person hide from the world within their own home, where they feel safe. It can also make a person want to run away from all they know. Having anxiety from trauma or past experiences is hard enough for most of us to live through. With help, we find coping mechanisms so that we can try to make a life for ourselves. But life is not done with us. Because our friends, family, and our environments continue to test us and add to our anxiety.
For us
This is why we have to push ourselves to set boundaries not only with people around us, but with ourselves as well. I am someone that wants to please people. If I can make them happy, they may want to be with me. My childhood anxiety of being rejected is a part of my life I constantly battle. But it is also this anxiety that opens the opportunity for others to add to my worry. The chance to use my kindness to get what they want. I have to learn to set a boundary with people to not allow their pressures to impact my mental health. Most importantly though, I have to set a boundary with myself to start saying no. To start standing up for myself. And to start limiting how much of myself I give to others.
It matters. You matter.
No matter what mental health disorder you are battling, the most important part of healing is caring about you. There is no chance to heal without caring and fighting for yourself. Each one of us is special, important, and unique. Life will always try to test us. Add to our stress and anxiety. But we are also strong and as we continue to work on our mental health, one day we will hopefully win the fight.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
