Do you think it would be a good thing or a scary thing to have a group of overthinkers in one room? Do you know if you are an overthinker? (Signs you are an overthinker) You may be saying that thinking about a situation will bring clarity and possible solutions. And you are right. But that is where most people would stop thinking about the problem. We overthinkers, well we can go to another level. And if you are anything like me, you go to extremes.
A Disorder?
Overthinking is the excessive time used for thinking and worrying about situations. (Overthinking Disorder) For an average person, they will think about the problem for some time and develop a solution. That’s it. They are good to go and there is no need to think about it again. For me…one solution is not enough. I will pull that problem apart from every angle five times over and then worry which solution to try first. And you know what is actually one of the worst parts of an overthinker? We can easily find problems where there are none to be found.
What it is like
Let me give you an example of my typical overthinking event. For a few days, I have been able to talk to a friend of mine on the phone. This friend has their own family and their own life somewhere else. I know that if they do not reply to my text, they are busy and cannot talk right then (especially since most of our conversations can go hours.) So, I sent my text in the morning and all day long with no response. This is where my overthinking kicks in. Suddenly, I am looking at the time and thinking about what they could be doing right then. Or imagining what they could be doing with their family. Wondering why they couldn’t just send a quick text that they were busy. “Do they not want to talk to me?” “Did I do something wrong?” “Maybe they don’t want to hear all of my “complaining” about my life anymore.” “Why am I so negative?” “Why can’t I be like everyone else?” “I wish I didn’t feel this way.” And so on…
No end
That is just one example. This is a constant occurrence in my mind. Overthinking can be debilitating. Right now, I am working through my self-care and self-love journey. This comes with some tough decisions. I have a few people in my life that are making it difficult for me to keep a positive outlook about myself. Most of the advice in society is to let go of those people. But I just can’t do that. Because I have thought about my viewpoint of the problem and then I start thinking about their viewpoint. How would it make them feel? Would they care or would they try to blame me for everything? Is their own mental health strong enough to want to work on our relationship or would they revert into something dangerous? Then suddenly, I do nothing, and my self-care is facing a new obstacle.
Overthinking is a form of anxiety
Overthinking is not classified as a disorder. But it is very commonly associated with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). It is the constant worrying about several things. So how can someone work through overthinking and avoid the debilitation? It is not easy. When someone is worried about a situation, there are not many ways to break that attachment without a resolution. A few ways to help refocus your mind when you are suffering from overthinking is to stop for a minute and take a few deep breaths. This form of meditation allows you to focus your mind on your breathing and away from the issue. Another way is to distract yourself away from the problem with something else. However, you need to be careful to not add to the overthinking.
Support
Without proper care for yourself and your mind, overthinking can ruin relationships and friendships. So, if you are an overthinker or you know of someone who is, be patient. We don’t always have control of what we think about. You may need to tell us a few times (or many times) that you care about us. We may need that reassurance. Or you may need to sit with us as we divulge all of the crazy thoughts running through our minds. Just listen, care, and comfort us as we work through our episodes. Because, at least with me, my overthinking does help me to realize my own issues and pushes me to continue working on my self-care. Most of us are already belittling ourselves for overthinking, so please just give us some support, your patience, and your love to help get through this.
Enjoy these videos.
With great warmth,
