Picture this…a child is seen running around the schoolyard laughing and playing around. You see them playing with other children. All appear to have the same large smiles on their faces. But there, on the side, is another child that is just sitting there. This little one is all alone watching the other children. You can see the longing in their eyes. The silent cry for attention on their face. You can picture all of that, can’t you? So, let me ask you, is that child worthy of love? Do they deserve to be cared about, appreciated, and made to feel special? What would you say to that child right now? Can you say that to yourself right now too?
Worth of a child
That’s right. I never mentioned anything about the child, defining them as a boy or girl, what they looked like, or anything like that. But I bet you were already coming up with things to cheer up the little child as you read this. So how is it that when we look in the mirror, we cannot say the same for ourselves? This was something that I have been struggling with for so long. Last week in my blog I spoke about a breakdown I had recently. I had that breakdown because I fight anxiety of being rejected.
The rejection
No one likes being rejected, obviously. But I take it much further. Growing up, I had friends that would pay attention to me one minute, and then move on to others the next. And because I didn’t know or was not comfortable being around many kids, I stepped away and felt rejected. I had boys in junior high school ask me to the school dance, and then never show up. In high school I had a boy actually tell me, “Well, you are my last option, do you want to go with me to the dance?” I didn’t know how it felt to have someone tell me that I was pretty or beautiful.
Worthy adult
As an adult it is easy to grow up believing that you are not worthy of having anything nice or special. I would grab onto the one person that showed me any sort of attention. Which would typically lead to heartache or an unhealthy relationship. I did this with friends and with romantic relationships. Could not break the cycle even now in my 40’s. I was so frustrated that when I met with my therapist this week, she gave me that example. That I can give respect and attention to everyone, no matter the situation they are in. They are all worthy of love, just as I am.
Listen
I have a very dear friend that has been trying to drill this into my head for years. And I understand where they are both coming from. But it was the similarity of the child…me and how I view this child to how I view myself today. The ability to look at a little girl, so quiet and shy, just wanting friends and being able to speak to her. To be able to see her as me, but not have my emotions tied to her. Let me explain. There is a difference to looking at yourself as a child and remembering all of the memories tied to being a child versus looking at a child that looks like you, acts like you did, and being able to separate your feelings and memories from that time.
The mirror
Those of you that have kids, if you see your child sad or hurt, how would you speak to them? Are they worthy of happiness, love, and appreciation? Your children are images of you. Even if they do not look like you, they grow up with your memories, your personality, and of course your mannerisms. They become a version of you. They are all worthy of love, not just from others, but love of themselves. Just as you are all worthy of love from others and from yourself. There will always be something about ourselves we do not like, just as there is something of your significant other that bugs you. You love them, so you can still love yourself. So many versions of this quote are out there, but if you had a bag of $10,000.00 all in $1 dollar bills and you find there are 5 of the bills with tears or writing on them, would you throw away the bag? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. Or if someone handed you a $20.00 bill but it was crumpled and stepped on, would you still want it? Yeah, me too.
It’s time
Every single person on this planet has some worth. There is something about each and every single person that has a value. You may not like someone by their actions and thoughts. But they too bring something to this world. You are special. You are loved. I care about all of you. Because you are worthy. We all are. I think it is time to start believing it.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
