A few days ago, I was talking with someone about why they would start a project, a process, something that they really wanted, only to stop right at the finishing point. They asked me why do they suddenly lose all interest the minute they discover they are almost done? I have asked (many times) why do I feel the need to always be told I am liked and that I am special from my friends instead of accepting their friendship as they give me? Is there something in our past that has molded us to be like this? Does there have to be a reason we are who we are?
Reason for Anxiety
Anxiety shows us in various ways. Simply scared to walk across a bridge or climb a ladder is very common. But being scared to complete a project tends to lead to a hidden element. This is an adult, so my opinion is that there is something that had happened earlier in their life that has them scared. This anxiety is life altering. Until this person can forgive the event from the past, the healing and the ability to complete something may haunt them.
Fear
My situation is also a form of anxiety. I live in constant fear that people are only saying they like me, and they really don’t. Or that there will be a day in which they don’t like me as much anymore and I am forgotten. I can speculate the reasoning for this all day. Maybe because of my early school years of teasing and bullying, it molded me to continue thinking this way. Having kids pretend to be your friend, suddenly turn and tease you, can build self-doubt.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda
Whatever could have, may have, or possibly did happen early in life, that is not the definite answer. Our lives are full of experiences and events. Both good and bad. It is the choices we make that define us. Are we able to accept the event has happened and that there is nothing that can be done about it now? Is there good and bad people in the world? Yes. Do we all have the same morals and common sense? No.
Release
There is a quote, “When you forgive, you heal. And when you let go, you grow.” So many times, we hold onto our past. Trying so hard to avoid feeling that way again. To never experience that again. Life doesn’t work that way. The harder you try to avoid, the more it will find you. Let it go. Discover who you are today because of it. I may find it hard to believe my friends, but I have to remember that some of my friends have been with me for years. Some of my friends are a part of my family. And these people (although complain when I comment about it), will still continue to remind me that they are my friends and that they all love me. They will continue, knowing that one day I won’t need the reminder anymore and will start to believe.
The gift
Whatever has hurt you, impacted your life, and made you feel that you are not the same, it is time. Let it go. Heal from the past. Let the family and friends in your life be your future. Grow with them. Start to feel that weight come off. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” Keep the history in the past and let it go.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
You need to learn to love yourself. Once you love yourself, then you can let go of the things that hurt you. By doing that write it down on a piece of paper and then let it burn away and never to come back.