It can be fascinating to listen to my various friends and family that I reach out to, in their words of wisdom and empathy as they hear about my struggles. Interesting because each one of them is different than the other. The message may be the same, but the approach and tone is very different. This is why a strong support system needs to consist of various people, various outlets, and a variety of personalities. Because a strong support system will get you through all obstacles in your way.
Types of Support
As many of us do, part of my support system is my family members. These are people that have watched me grow and become who I am. I have a close bound with my family and know that I can turn to each of them if I need to. There are a few difficulties that come from going to family members. First, as we get older, we may move away, start focusing on our own growing families, and ultimately, lose touch. I went from seeing my brothers monthly to only seeing them on holidays and the occasional vacation. They would still listen to me, support me, and help me if I were to ever need it. The other difficulty is that, especially with parents, the idea of a family member struggling is hard to understand. My mom is so loving and would do anything for me. She supports all I do. But I can tell, she has a hard time understanding why I feel and act the way I do. The idea of her child (even in their 40’s) struggling is too difficult to comprehend sometimes for her.
Friendly Advice
The other piece to my support is with my friends. I have various friends from the few that are “my people” to a handful that I know I can go to with some of the lighter struggles I face. This is where knowing who I can go to and whom will provide the needed advice is crucial. As I mentioned many times before, we all go through challenges in our lives. So many of us will face similar situations in life. But we must remember, that we each do not approach or handle each situation the same. It becomes very hard to keep our own experience out of our empathy.
Diverse Support
Having a diverse group of people to turn to is vital in overcoming challenges in life. This is why I would always suggest to someone that finding a trusting support person outside of our personal circle is recommended. What I mean is that reaching out to the church, a therapist, or a community outreach program is always beneficial. Why? Easy, because having an outside person that doesn’t know much about you, your history, other than by what you have explained, forces that person to keep all personal emotion, experience, or bias away from simply listening and maintaining an open mind.
Opening Mind, Heart, and Eyes
Keeping an open mind when you are faced with a family, friend, or loved one that is struggling is very difficult. It is something I have been able to hold strong…well for most people. It is an ability to listen to what is being said and what is not. Watching the simple movements of a person’s hands and their body language as they talk to you. The non-verbal conversation is just as important as the verbal one in front of us.
Using Each One
Family life and home life mixed up with work life and school life, cause the majority of everyone’s stress. The abundance of stress without a proper support system and an outlet to relieve the built up emotion, will lead to mental health issues and disorders. Support systems are key to our everyday life. Being able to rely on them without emotional attachment is crucial. Because remember, you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness, but your own. Just as you cannot expect anyone else to be responsible for your happiness. (Learned that one the hard way recently.) So go look at your support system. How would you use each one of them? Can you trust them? Do you need stronger support or maybe that outside third party? But make sure you have some support. And if you are ever in need of someone to listen to you, I am always available.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
