Look at the people around you. At their faces and the way they carry their body. Which ones are smiling, with a look of happiness? What about those that are not smiling? Are they sad, angry, or just a content expression? Can you tell which ones may be in need of help? Ones that are sad, depressed, lost, or that they may consider something drastic? You may be surprised on what you find.
Can you tell?
I go to work and talk with my coworkers with a cheerful tone and a smile on my face (most of the time.) Do you think anyone of them would see me as someone that could be depressed? Someone that would think about wanting to be left alone in my life? Probably not. Am I feeling that way? Sometimes, yes. Why would they not be able to see that from me? Could be that while I am at work, I can keep my mind off my other thoughts and focus on one task. To be able to talk and laugh with my coworkers and friends, in general, to be in a pleasant mood.
Hiding is too easy
How easy is it to be able to hide away your emotions from those that may see? A simple smile that can mask the warring thoughts in your mind. To be able to divert concern by saying “everything is fine.” Have you ever hidden behind a smile, but found you cannot hide from your feelings?
What can we do to help our friends and family get the help they need, to keep them in our lives for as long as we can? The problem we face is that those who are feeling depressed may find a way to hide their emotions from the world. There are still things to look for to see if there could be an issue. Obviously, dramatic mood changes and seclusion from what could be considered as normal activities are common areas to tell there is something wrong.
Ways to tell
Appearance: this is an area that can either be dramatic or a slow change. Someone suddenly goes from dressing in colors and nice apparel to dressing in only casual clothing and in black is probably needing some support. Maybe they decided to cut much their hair off or you start seeing a lack of care of how they look overall. These are a few signs to look for.
Personality: This one is a little harder. Again, it is easy to hide behind a smile. So, look for smaller changes. That laugh they are giving, is it long and happy or does it cut out quickly? Do they suddenly get quiet afterwards or look away? Think about how their personality was a month ago, or even a year ago. Now look at how they are reacting today. Are there differences to be concerned about?
Actions/Talking: This is a big one. Listen to them! See what they do and how they move around. Did they ever talk about hurting themselves? Was there ever a time they thought about if anyone would miss them if they were not around anymore? The way they move around is another tell of their feelings. Do they tend to stand off to the side away from people? How about avoiding socializing situations? Some people are naturally quiet and hate going to big events (I am one of those people.) But, if I used to like it and now I don’t, that is different.
Ask for help
There are signs that people give away in hopes that someone can help them, without them having to ask for it. Why can’t they ask for help? Simple, they are scared. You see, there is a stigma attached to mental health that is making people scared to reach out for help in any form. The idea of being known as having something wrong in your mind, gives some an unhealthy and wrong opinion. There is nothing wrong with not being okay.
We can all use help
Everyone could use help for something. I could use help for things I cannot do, help to clean my house, help me by having someone that I can fully open up to. I still get depressed. Still feel lonely in a room full of people. Even, at times, would like to escape at times. People need help for a number of things. Whether it is physical activities, help caring for family members, or even to help to understand why we feel the way we do. But asking for help? That can make anyone feel scared. To feel like you are not good enough to handle the situation. So, if you feel that way, why ask for help then?
It can be scary to talk about your feelings, ask for help, or just to open up a little. What is not okay, is losing the people we love too early in their lives.
Ask for help. Choose to get help. Accept the help.
Suicide Hotline – 800-273-8255
With great warmth,
