Have you ever prepared for a test so hard only to not do so well? Or how about get ready to a trip only to not be able to go? We all know that it is easy to get disappointed when you are looking forward to something and not have it happen. But what if you didn’t really want to do something, worked hard because it was going to happen, then not be able to do it? How do you react to a sudden change and possible disappointment?
Stress Affects
Stress affects everyone differently and in so many ways, there are times you don’t realize it. I personally, typically lose my appetite and I become more sensitive to my surroundings and how I feel about them. So, when you have a 6-year-old that loves to talk, it can make for a tense day. I might get quieter (if that is possible with me) and my sleep struggles to keep me rested for the night. That is what I know stress does to me. I have come to find other ways stress has affected me that were not so noticeable.
My body also reacts to stress in ways that leaves me frustrated and if not monitored, I could have slight pain. (Won’t go into TMI details here.) Another way though is my depression sometimes can flare up for me. Having a stress of a disappointment can easily get my mind onto a topic of a loss of energy, a loss of care, and complete hopelessness.
The Disappointment
Don’t get me wrong, some disappointments can lead to positive events. A relief of not having to participate in an event I may not have really wanted to do. Or, what about a disappointment of an event just getting postponed and taking place a different time could be at a better place and give me more time to get ready. This is not what I am talking about right now.
I have a friend that was frustrated with an event organization, but the event was something they enjoyed doing. The disappointment came that they would not be able to take part in the upcoming event due to outside interference. It was nothing this person could do to help the situation. Part of their mind was not looking forward to the event and part wanted to just participate. Now, they cannot participate.
Dark Mind
Their mind has become empty so much that concentration is difficult. Their focus is strained. They have turned into a “I don’t care” or “Whatever” mind frame. This can bring on a darkness that can be hard to come out of.
When someone’s mind brings on a world of darkness and emptiness, this not only affects the person, but also those around them. Their family members, their friends and coworkers can feel the tension and lack of emotion from them. Stress and depression can bring on more stress and depression. These emotions and temperaments almost feed and grow the more they can latch onto.
Together
One thing I discovered from my years of depression, was that I held onto friends and others that had a similar vibe. My best friend at the time, she too had a downward look on life. I couldn’t say that she was depressed as well, as I was not her. But I fed off her vibe of a darker vision of the world. When I broke free from her friendship, my world felt brighter.
Handling Life
How can one handle a disappointment and stress so that they don’t turn to the despairing views of the world around them? The hardest part is to acknowledge your feelings or, in this case, lack of any feelings. You have to be able to acknowledge there is an issue. Many times, you can’t. Basically, because you are not in a strong mind frame to recognize the problem.
Acknowledgement
The only thing I can honestly suggest, if you are ever faced with an overpowering stress and a possible depression-like thoughts, speak to at least one person. That is all it will take. Talk to one person. A family member, a friend, a doctor, someone. They might not…no wait. Family members and friends will try to give you advice. The biggest help though, by talking about it to at least one person, a small amount of the pressure your body has already started to build, will get released. Little by little, you will begin to feel better. A solution may present itself. Or not. Just knowing that one person now knows how you feel, and you are no longer alone.
If you ever need to speak with someone, I will be happy to be that person. I never judge. I will always listen to you. I may give my opinions, but I only want you to know that I am here, and you are never alone.
With great warmth,
