Why me?
I hate the way I look.
I wish I had what they have.
Why does nothing good happen to me.
Do these sound familiar? Have you ever thought this way at any time in your life? I have been talking about what we can do for our children and as parents to be aware of any mental health changes. But what about us as adults? When you are feeling down and in a dark place in your mind, who can you turn to and where can you go for help? When you are in this frame of mind, are you even thinking about looking for help? How are adults getting help for their mental health?
My Younger Self
It was 30 years ago that I found myself in a depression as a teenager. Growing up the shy little girl, I never had that many friends. Always in my shell and not wanting to talk to many people so I didn’t feel stupid. I was 14 going into high school and beginning to feel like I didn’t matter in the world. Many a time, I would think to myself, other than my family, would I even be missed? I would look around the school at the other kids and think to myself, they don’t know me. Would they even care if I wasn’t there?
I tried to get more involved in my church and found a few friends. Never one that held onto friends for too long. I was one of those people, the ones that would cling to one friend at a time. If they couldn’t spend most of their time with me, I started drifting away. Then onto finding a another, to cling to.
Around People, But Still Alone
Throughout high school, I didn’t talk to many people. Although I was around other people I knew, I constantly felt alone. At home, I had 2 older brothers that felt more like my father than my brothers. Always being protected. I am the only girl and the youngest in my family. After high school, my depression remained for another 2 years before I managed to break free. Did I really break free or was I able to just manage it differently?
Break Free or Managing your Mental Health
Now, I am older (and maybe a little wiser), but I know when my depression makes itself known. Yes, even today I will have days that I feel like I am not good enough for this world. I have a husband now that tells me I am his world. I have a son that vows to always take care of me. That should be enough for me. Some days it is and some days it is not. I still struggle, as everyone does through life. Hurdles show up at home or at work and my mind will find a way to pull me in. Into the darkness, to dwell on the not so pleasant thoughts.
Everyday Hurdles
Through all of this, so many people are dealing with everyday hurdles and events that can very easily turn a happy spirit into a sour one. When someone is feeling despaired, do they want to talk? For me, not always. Not to everyone. There are those I know will not understand. There are those I know who feel like they could understand. But there are very few that I am comfortable enough to know, that they do understand.
Family and Friends
Most family members and friends will fall into the “feel like they could understand” category, with a chosen few in the “know they do understand”. But, unless they have gone through what I have, they don’t fully. So, now what? Am I destined to be alone with my thoughts and held to this depression for the rest of my life?
Choose to Change
I have mentioned in a previous post, that no change will come unless you choose to change. That holds true throughout your life. Especially when it comes to your mental health. The first step in any illness, whether mental health, physical, or otherwise…YOU MUST CHOOSE. As adults, we don’t always have another to oversee our health. We are the ones responsible.
You must choose…
To want to get help.
Be brave and fight through the darkness.
Pick up the phone, turn on the computer, to reach out.
The same organizations I mentioned last week in Parents Need to Talk to Their Children not only help parents but can also help you individually. But most of all, you must choose. I hope you do choose, like I am trying to. Choose to want to be a better you. Not just for your family and friends. Choose to be a better you for you.
Please take a minute and check out NAMI.org and SAHM. Take a minute to contact someone, anyone. You are also very welcome to contact me. I have been told, I am a good listener.
With great warmth,
