I have been hearing many people talk about how a loved one doesn’t understand them. “They just don’t get it.” Or I will hear “they just don’t listen to me.” While these may be true, I must ask, are you talking? Communication is vital when it comes to…well everything. We must have clear communication when we talk to doctors, so they know how to make us feel better. However, we also must have clear communication when we talk to our friends and family. As someone once said, perception is reality. But is it?
Reception
At my job, I think about how a person will feel walking into one of my clinics. Or how my doctors and nurses feel about a procedure I need them to follow. I can put myself into their shoes and view a situation from their point of view. So, then I can describe or explain my reasoning with understanding of how they may perceive the news. The way they hear the words coming from me will impact how they interpret it. Basically, affect their reality.
Point of View
Now think about this in a relationship. Families, friends, coworkers, and everyone you interact with, so many personalities and many different views of reality. I can point out a tree that may look like a star to me, where the reality of my friend could be it is shaped like an arrow. How we look at the world around us and how we listen to people may be different than anyone else. I once told my husband; “our common sense may not be the same as theirs.”
Talk to Understand
When it comes to talking about how we feel, understanding is the most difficult. I can tell someone that I am scared of a person. But what I really mean is I worry they won’t like me. It isn’t what I said though. To be understood, we need to be accurate and clear. But most importantly, we need to be honest. Honest to ourselves, as well as honest with them.
Time to Open Up
There is still one more piece, we need to start talking. Depression, anxiety, worry, fear, these are all mental issues we face daily and alone. So many of us tend to shut down when something is bothering us. Hoping that if we do not bring attention to it, the bad part will just go away. Unfortunately, that does not happen. It tends to get worse. We don’t know how you feel, if you hurt, or what is really bothering you, if you do not talk. The key is to find someone you trust that is outside the situation, that you can open up to.
Save a Life
Talking about how we feel leads to a release of stress. But it is not all that easy. Because when you start talking, you must be able to listen too. Talking is communication. This is a two-way street and to expect someone to listen to us, we must listen to them. Does it mean we have to do what they say? No. But, solutions to our daily problems do not come about just because we talked. We must understand that maybe we need to account for our own actions.
With Love
Talking to loved ones, family, friends, coworkers in a clear and honest way gives us the best opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with these people. Honesty, clear communication, and taking the time to really listen to the other person can save many. It can save relationships and save lives. If you are scared, hurt, worried, or if you care about someone, love them, then talk. Talk about how you feel. Reach out to someone you trust that is outside of your situation and talk. Allow the feelings to be released. Give way to more love and more positivity in your life.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
