When I search for quotes for my blog, there are certain ones that seem to give me a lasting impact. Like I have shared, “One day or Day One, you decide” or “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just the first step”. But one that has been stuck with me lately is, “For things to change, you have to change.” Last week I talked about deciding this is the time to make a change. But what if you don’t see a reason to make a change, or you have a friend or family member that doesn’t want to change? How does this choice of not wanting to change affect others and us?
Letting Go
We all have bad days. Some of us have worse days, while others may have some good days sprinkled in. How many of you know someone that could really use some help in their life? Someone that would talk about areas that they are struggling in as you try to offer some advice, only to not change their views or habits. I know I do. Because I was that person, still am in many areas of my struggles. I do have friends and family that also could use extra advice too. We all do.
Do you want it
The problem is that for anyone to truly make a change, they have to want it. Each of us have to be willing to take the steps out of our comfort zones and make the honest declaration that we have a problem. However, this cannot be a want to change under duress. Because it is not an honest willing desire. If you don’t want it, it won’t happen.
The need
What is so wrong with not changing? Well…a lot! Our uncontrolled emotions, severe actions, and even the lack of behaviors impact every single person around us. Let’s start with just the people we are in contact with. At work we are interacting every minute with coworkers, customers, bosses, and executives. Depressive and anxious behaviors can easily impact our jobs, contracts, sales, and work relationships in a negative way. Who would want to work for an executive that has an uncontrolled anxious mind? Or have a coworker that has an uninhibited swing of excitement to rage? Workplace mental health not only drives confidence, but ultimately outlines our productivity.
Impact of change
At home, the impact is just as severe, if not detrimental. Parents, spouses, loved ones, close family members that cannot restrain their fears, emotions, or behaviors can tear the family bonds apart. The added stress and worry about making someone mad, hurting their feelings, can make others feel like they are walking on eggshells. So many relationships are broken by a family member that could not see they needed help.
Fear
There is a fear of admission. The admission that there is a weakness in our life. That there is something about us that is bad, hurtful, negative, and we struggle to find the strength within to acknowledge it. Even for myself, I spent 90% of my current life under the thought of being not good enough, not special, and unworthy. Each day of my life I would shut down my desires and needs for the favor of others. Every day I spent hiding from myself, my own reflection, that I would rather hide from it than face it.
Want it
That was until that day. The day I was faced with the fact of completely losing myself. And the look on my dad’s face when presented with this possibility. I dug in deep that day to find any strength I had. I found my want, my desire to be something more. I found my spark to make the change for me. For those in my life, and for those I have yet to meet. I have more areas that need to change. Because for me to truly be happy, I need to face my insecurities. See life through different glasses.
Not everyone wants to face their fears. Some find it very hard to accept the issues. Many would rather ignore or hide from them. Making a change in our lives is never going to be easy. But it will be worth it. Because you are worth it.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
