My son just asked me what mental health is and why is it so important. This question got me thinking. Many of us are moving through each day just surviving. Get up, take care of the family, go to work, only to come home and take care of the family until it is time for bed. We push ourselves to care about everyone else in our lives, that we are not leaving much time for us. I was recently reminded that my mental health is very important and taking time away from work is necessary. So why is it so hard to care about ourselves?
Respecting others
In conversations with my friends and my therapist, I realized I grew up in a life that knew nothing but caring about others. My childhood was full of times where I wanted to make others happy so they would like me. In high school, I found myself attached to other kids (that I now realize were just using me) just because they gave me some sort of acknowledgement. Even some guys I dated, well let’s just say they were all wrong for me. But I didn’t care because they paid attention to me. I became so desperate to be liked that I forgot everything I loved and wanted in my life.
Every day life
Today I go to work and push myself every day. If I get a phone call or an email at night or on the weekends, I will answer it. I could be on vacation, and I must try hard not to respond. I do this because I want to be shown as a team player and reliable. Instead, I am taking away from my own health every time. My entire life of 46 years has been filled with caring about others needs that I do not know how to care for me. It is so “out-of-the-box” for me, that it might as well be in a foreign language. Setting boundaries and saying “no” is too difficult for my mind to understand.
My own life
I have been trying to define for myself what it is I want and what it is I am willing to do. Like, at work when we are asked questions or required to stay later, at what point am I willing to say no and stick to it? At home when I am asked to go to the store when I just got home from work, or I see that the kitchen should be cleaned up, can I say no or maybe voice my opinion about the chores? What are my personal boundaries that will allow me to not only respect others, but also respect myself?
Simple respect
That is what it comes down to, isn’t it? Respect. If we are so willing to do so much more for these other people in hopes that they respect us for going the “extra mile”, are we able to respect ourselves the same way? My therapist has made me realize something. If I was to see myself as a child, what advice would I give her? Now can you give yourself that same advice?
Start now
It is never too late to start focusing on you. It is definitely not as easy as it sounds. And it will take work. But if you have respect for anyone in your life, you can show yourself the same respect. Show yourself that you are important too. Prove to yourself that you are special and beautiful. Believe in yourself that you are strong, and you can do anything you set your mind to. I was able to go back to school and now I am looking to change careers. Sometimes we all need to push ourselves outside our comfort zone. Mental health is about finding a balance within all of the elements of our lives. The center of that balance is you. So, take that day off from work. Put away the cell phones and turn off the email. Take the break from the busy life and give yourself that moment of peace in your inner life. We all could use those moments.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
