Going through life these days can be scary. Women are living with outrageous expectations and men are living with ideals about being strong leading them to bottle up their feelings. We hear about both men and women hiding away from acknowledging there is a problem until it is too late. (Mental Health By the Numbers) The impact is not just on those individuals. Families, friends, coworkers and anyone knowing the person is impacted. Whether you do something about your mental health or not. There is someone in this world that is affected by you.
See it then
When I look over my life from childhood and into my adult years, I see how my health was. But when I look closer, I can see how the effects spread. As you know I didn’t start getting help until just over a year ago. So, for about 40 years, my emotions, my mood, and my actions or lack of, affected someone. In childhood, kids would find it easy to tease. Or they would just stay away from me. Children don’t understand sadness and loneliness. Or do they?
My teenage years came with more ignoring. But I also had a few friends that started to open up about their problems. One had called me to tell me that she was having suicidal thoughts. (I found out later she became a doctor.) Another was constantly depressed. Thoughts of running away. Schools back then had no discussion about mental health. There was a nurse, but no social worker or psychologist. Only assemblies about drugs and drinking. We were still trying to figure our way in the world and at this age, hormones are a mess. No one could avoid being impacted.
Feeling it then
Young adults are going to college, joining the military, getting jobs, moving out on their own. Full of discovery about how the world is really run. The importance of money to be able to have electricity and food in the home. How society has begun to take over your life. Pressure to be successful is overwhelming. Suddenly, social lives become smaller. Friends and family start to see less of you. The impact is almost unbearable.
Adults are now at a stage of intolerance of the younger staff. Set in ways to make sure the job is done. Time to reap the benefits. But is it all a mind game?
Eyes of a child
Children can see when others are acting unusually. Feelings of this person being weird and strange. Beginning to have a sense of fear to be around the person. The problem, that person could very well be a parent, a family member, or friend that is suffering from a mental health disorder and not getting help. Children learn by their environment. Whether at home or school. So, if a parent is suffering from undiagnosed depression, the child will see. If that parent or family member is happy one day and crying or suicidal the next, the child will see. They may not understand, but they see.
Emotions of a teenager
Teenagers are looking for the biggest and best. To be noticed and acknowledged. If they come home to a parent that is undiagnosed with a mental health disorder like bipolar or anxiety, they will react. Social groups are the focus of the teenager, and they have a parent suffering from PTSD from a car accident, that teenager will suffer too. Confused about why they are not allowed to go out at night with friends. Resentful for being restricted and not understanding why. Teenagers react.
Young adults avoiding
The twenty-something college student has a roommate that is depressed. No indication why and no acknowledgement of having any problems. That twenty-something will see and may even try to offer help. But if the roommate refuses to get help, frustration and anger can come out. Not being able to understand why, the impulse to give up on the roommate is prevalent. The instinct to avoid anyone that shows signs of mental health disorders is too great. Young adults avoid.
Expressing adulthood
One parent is making their way through work, family life, household chores, and then a little time to themselves. But their spouse is sitting behind because of the loss of desire in their life. Constantly asking what is the point and heavy emotions is expressed throughout the household. Intimacy falls by the wayside. Passion and devotion are pulled apart. Strain fills the house, and everyone can feel it. Adults can express it.
Get help
If you ever feel depressed, anxious, suffer from trauma and possibly dealing with PTSD, please seek help. By avoiding or ignoring, it is not just you that is suffering. That child in their bed sees. That teenager will react. The young adult over there will avoid you. And don’t forget your significant other. Because as they may try with all of their heart and soul, they will express to you. But if that doesn’t scare you, ultimately, they will all leave. Because as much as they love you, they also need to take care of their own health, including leaving the toxic environment.
With great warmth,
