We have all had times of someone reacting without thinking. I mean, just drive down the street for a few minutes and you will find more. But, right now I am focusing on more personal times. I have come across a few times just in the last few weeks, witnessing friends receiving reaction from others without thinking first. One of those times was at work.
Why react at all
Not going into too many details, a person unknown to my coworker replied in such a hurtful way to a message that was not really directed to that person. Many found their reaction appalling. That person did eventually apologize for their actions. But I have to ask, why? Why does anyone feel the need to make negative comments at all? What goal does it serve?
Another experience was a video that I came across on social media. The person in the video decided to cut their hair. The response they received were both positive and negative. Unfortunately, the negative became more insulting. Later, the person posted another video explaining that their long hair was donated to children fighting cancer.
Thinking differently
These two actually happened recently, that it took me back. It made me start to think about people and society in general. All of the reviews people receive from videos and posts they make. Think about the actors, musicians, models, or your local shops and restaurants. The reviews that are listed on social media and tend to make news.
Now think smaller. What about the friend, coworker, family member, or that stranger walking down the street? Their face may show anger, hurt, sorrow, and on occasion happiness. You may say hi to them and they ignore you, yell at you, or tell you to go away. Your reaction may be to call them every name you can think of in your head. Maybe say it out loud. But do you know why they may be like that? Do you know what they are dealing with that may have placed that look on their face? Or why they may want to be alone?
React in life
Every day we all have ups and downs that we are going through. Our stories are full of challenges and accomplishments. Not every one of them is shared with those around us. I lost track of all the times my mind was focused on all of the elements running through my head, that just having someone call my name produced an irritated tone from me.
Easy or hard
It is so easy to react to the emotions around us. You come across someone is having a bad day and feeding an angry personality. It is easy to react to that anger. And not in a positive way. That is where things get hard. To consciously step back and ask…why? Why is this person so angry? Then even harder, is it worth anything to anyone if I react to it?
I came across an interview of Kevin Hart with Steven Colbert. In this video, Kevin talks about the time and energy we hold being negative. This is so true. The time and energy we build up, dwell on, and express to those around us is exhausting.
The thing is, it takes energy to stay positive as well. It also takes effort to recognize that there is a difference between constructive criticism and just being rude. Just like we have heard from mothers all around the globe, “If you don’t have something nice to say, you don’t say anything at all.” Because saying a haircut “looks like crap” is much different than saying, “I miss your long hair. Are you planning on grow it out again?”
React or respond
When you find yourself about to react, take one little second and ask yourself, “Is it worth it?” Because your reaction will more than likely not accomplish anything useful.
With great warmth,
