It is one thing to face life’s hurdles. It is another when you have a loved one that is facing life altering challenges. The amount of emotional battles your mind and body fight can make your head spin. The vulnerability alone can cripple the strongest man.
Is it really worse
There is a phrase that I have heard people say, “There is always someone that has it worse than you.” I need be honest. I hate that statement. Yes, there are people in the world that struggle through life with no family, no money, no home or job. Or they are so sick that they need medical help to breathe. All of those people, my heart breaks for. If I had a better means to, I would do what I could to help them.
Time to be selfish
But I need to be selfish right now. This isn’t about them. Their struggles do not make what we go through in our lives any more or less as important. You worry about being able to get home in time for dinner is just as important as someone worrying about being able to put food on the table. The difference is, what I am going through right now, today, this minute…it is important to ME!
So, when I come faced with someone I love that is battling their own life challenge, that is important to me. Because now, I am faced with the emotions that flood in for my loved one and every person affected by their life. Worry for my loved one, worry for the other members affected, the feeling of fear, anger, and anxiety flood through.
Vulnerable
I found myself reacting in a way that personally scared me. When the news first came in, panic came through. Then suddenly, my mind and my emotions shut down. I had a sense of feeling numb. Couldn’t think about anything at all. When asked if I was hungry or if I needed anything, I came up blank. It felt as if I was on autopilot and my body movements were not my own. My first emotional release came during a phone call discussing care of their home while they were away. This was the first time I was able to express my fear. The ugly cry that proceeded, seemed to help slightly.
The Reaction
I wanted to talk about this because I have been watching very closely how our own reactions to someone who we are close with, having to fight a battle, can affect not only our minds, but our bodies. Seeing exhaustion, heartache, flares of anger, and weakness, but then hearing about headaches, body aches, and nausea. Mentally tired, forgetfulness, and overall frail.
Do you realize that every action, reaction, emotion we project around our family and friends, can change a person’s outcome? Think about this…you are wanting to have surgery to better yourself. When you discuss it with a family member and they react in a panic, how would feel about the surgery now? How about you decide to have the surgery done and it is the day of, when a friend is so worried about you that you see they are making themselves sick over it? How do you feel at that moment about having it done?
To care for one is to care for you
We care so deeply about our family and friends; about the emotions and events they must endure. Seeing people we care about struggle, fight, and battle their way through life, can pull out emotions in our own lives we may not be ready for. The care we take for ourselves, can give them the strength they need now. Showing them that we can be strong with them, to give them the power and force they need to come out the other side, even better.
To care for our loved ones, we must always care for ourselves. They can only be as strong as they feel. So, let’s give them all of our power to be able to kick every battle down.
With great warmth,
