Exploring the fabric of our stories one character at a time.

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When it is time to change directions

This may be a short post, but I have to get this out. I have lived my life for the past 48 years a certain way. As I child I was so desperate to have a friend that I would try to be like the other kids just to fit in. I was so desperate to have a boy like me that I would act the way I thought they wanted. Even now as an adult I still change…no, I leave who I am to the side to please others. And I am tired of it. It is time I …

WHAT DO I WANT AND NEED FROM LIFE

We go through life hearing we should treat others as how we want to be treated. Were you taught to be respectful of others? So why is it so hard to treat yourself this way? How is it that we cannot respect ourselves the way we do our family and friends? Are you treating yourself the way you deserve? Do you know what you want and need in life? Lost Someone reminded me that my needs and wants are just as important as my family’s. But my problem is realizing what my needs and wants are. Because I have lived …

I am Celebrating Just Surviving

The Christmas holiday has come and gone now in the United States. And as I found myself struggling to be in the spirit of the season, I did have a moment to reflect. The year is coming to an end next week. And so much has happened in my life, that I took a moment to myself and celebrated surviving. Reflection This year I found myself finally able to change my career direction. Although it was not the original direction I was looking at, but it became the direction that I was best suited for. A place that I found …

Learn when to hold them and when to fold them

I have been playing a game online with many people from all over the world. Recently we had a fight on the game that had many people breaking trust and fighting within their groups. Emotions ran high for everyone. Some people felt the stress was too much and left the game. I was almost one of them. But I found in trying to build back from this fight, that there is a time in which you fight and a time in which you stop and move on. When you hold onto your drive for more, and when you fold up …

All I want to do is understand

I had an interesting conversation with my mom this week. I have been working on improving myself and loving myself these past 3 years. Learning to love who I am and enjoy being me. Since I also found the new job, it has really helped. Pushing me to believe in myself and trust my instincts. But I still have down days. Bad days that want me to hide from all that know me. And in the conversation with my mom, she couldn’t understand why I had them. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Ever ask someone to explain how they felt at …

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow in One Person

These past few days have been difficult for me. But when I was able to get out from under them, they became a lesson. We struggle getting through some days. But if we take the time, they can be the lesson we didn’t know we needed. I had someone ask me if I wished to go back in time to do things differently. Sure. Most of us have things in our past we would love to have done differently if we had the chance. But the thing is, if we didn’t make those decisions back then, we wouldn’t be the …

It is a Symptom of Being Human

I have been reminiscing lately about my life. Thinking about everything I have experienced and how it has shaped my life as it is today. My son was having an emotional episode lately and asked me “Mom, why am I here?” and “Why am I the way I am?” These questions are not easy to answer. Because there are so many ways to answer them. But it was these questions that made me think. I have been trying for so long to figure out my place in this world. To understand why I was in this world. How do I …

Pain, Pain, Go Away, Come Back Another Day

Ever hear the nursery rhyme “Rain, Rain, Go Away”? The idea that a gloomy day is not what you want. To bring back the sun and brighten up the day. This idea is one that many of us feel constantly. I have been happier lately. Smiling more, dancing in my car, even laughing more. But it doesn’t take much to bring my thoughts down. A simple comment can bring the rainy day back into my life. Still Working I have been working very hard to get my life into some sort of order. Friendships are brightening my day. Work has …

How I fight with life every day

Ever look at your friends and watch them laugh and dance? They really look like they are having a good time. Almost like they do not have a care in the world. You might even wish you were more like them. Thinking that they have an easy life. But you are probably wrong. Too many times, those smiles are hiding the dark they hold. All the worry and fear that keep them up at night. All the frustration and sadness they face daily. Just because they are happy now, doesn’t mean they are not still fighting every day. One Piece …

Do or do not, there is no try! Or is there?

Ever wake up and wish you were on that galaxy far, far, away? Wondering why life has to be so hard? If you are like me, you have been battling for decades. Tired of fighting all of the time. Wanting to push the pause button on the remote control of life. But instead, we wake up each day to a new morning. Trying to figure out how the day is going to treat you today. Every day life is going to bring you a new challenge. The choice is how you are going to face it. Try to ignore and …