When I was studying for my masters, I came across a theorist that came up with the Choice Theory. The theory states that we have full control and choice on how we react to events in our lives. That we are responsible for our own behavior and emotions. And I have to be completely honest, it wasn’t until I really thought about it, but I believe this. The choice really is ours.
Hardest Choice
It will never be easy to do, but I firmly believe that you can choose how you feel and how you react to things that happen in your life. Many people have told me that I am a very patient person. Not really. I have learned over my lifetime how to react to certain things. I am an overthinker and when something happens to me, I will dissect that event to its very tiniest detail. Like when my work changed my role very suddenly a couple of months ago. The emotions that ran through me were immense.
I learned early in life that there are things to pay attention to and things that need to just exist. It is never easy to make the determination as to what is important and what is not. But when you start really looking at the big picture, you start to really see life. You know the phrase, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”? It’s true.
What is Important
What you think is important may not be important to another. That doesn’t mean it isn’t, just it is not as important to them. And no matter how much energy you put into trying to get that person to see what it means to you, it will never be enough. They are not you.
The next time you are faced with an event that is stressful to you, know that you have a choice. In a simple example, a few weeks ago I was rushing to get home in time to pick up my son from school. My workday was just okay, but a little stressed. On the road, I watched a nice size rock come at me and hit my windshield. I scanned the glass to see if I could find any damage. Nothing…until suddenly there it was. Creeping across the glass was a cut. The rock hit just right on the side of the windshield and immediately sliced the glass. By the time I reached home, the cut spanned across half of the windshield.
Choosing
I could have been angry, or mad. Maybe I could even start crying. But no. I chose to just continue my day. I accepted that there was nothing I could do, and no emotion would fix the situation. Getting angry would do nothing to make me feel better. At that moment, it was not important enough for me to be emotional.
We will be faced with tests from life. Some easy to handle. Many are hard. How we handle each event not only has an effect on our mental health, but also our physical. Stress that causes headaches and weight loss. Or anxiety that makes others not want to be around us. Ask yourself if it is important. Then ask how this emotion makes it better. Because you never know. The choice of emotion you make may actually save your life.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
