As we all grow up from our childhood, we are excited with new independence and the desire to do more in life. It is typically around the 20’s and 30’s years of age that we are trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives. (For some of us, it takes a little longer.) Trying to determine what career path, loves and likes in relationships, and style of our personality. It is an ever-growing process as we get older and move through life. But for me, it is a struggle. Because, as I get closer to my 50’s, I still feel lost. Who am I?
Understand the basic
A friend of mine had told me that I need to understand Jennifer. Who is Jennifer? (I don’t know.) What do I like and don’t like? Because this is what I really should be fighting for in my life. Ever heard the phrase, “You can’t help others, if you can’t help yourself.” How do you teach your children about life events or general topics if you don’t know about them? So, how do I teach my son about how he needs to understand his worth, if I am struggling to find mine?
My sense
How do I understand me? Start with the basics. Do you like calm environments or exciting ones? Do you like TV more than music? Start to understand how you see the world. For example, I love nature. I am happiest looking at the sky, the ocean, a forest, a meadow, at flowers, and even looking across the desert. I am happiest listening to any kind of music. But this is just the start. It is looking at everything I do, say, eat, touch, see, smell…(get it?) It is your senses. Discover what makes you feel good.
Fighting for who I am
Then you have something to fight for. Something to build on. An outline to design your life around. If you find that need a dark quiet room to sleep in but have a partner that likes watching videos in bed, you can find ways to make it pleasant for you. For me, I use an eye mask and ear plugs when I sleep. It is understanding what in this world makes you happy.
The I am ball
Lately, I have not been so happy. My job has been wonderful, and I am happy that I have found it. That part of my life is working out great. But I am still not happy. My therapist once told me that by taking pieces of this giant ball of stress, focus on one at a time, and you will get to a better place. The job was a big piece of the stress ball. And I can focus on another section now, but really, there is that one piece that kind of intertwines throughout. That is me. My love for myself. My self-worth. Until I focus on these, the other pieces will not get much better.
I am free
In one of my last sessions, I told my therapist that all I want is to be the person that can say, “I am who I am. You can accept it or not. I don’t care.” I want to feel good. Did you know that years ago I would have days of just overwhelming happiness? Dancing around the house, laughter all day, a smile that could not wash away. Unfortunately, as years went by, the episodes became less and less. Until, well, I don’t remember the last time I felt that way. I want it back! And I don’t want to let anyone take it away from me.
Discover who I am
So, my opinion for the road to happiness is to start discovering what you like. And if you don’t know, start basic and try everything out. Have you ever seen a child discover something new? The bright eyes and intrigue? Bring that out of you by discovering the new undiscovered side of you. Because I can bet you will find that you are awesome, wonderful, exciting, unique, and beautiful. You are special.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
