When you were a child, did you have dreams of being a doctor, a teacher, the president, or a ballerina? Did you dream about flying in space or putting on a show for your family and friends? Did your parents and teachers tell you things like, “you can be anything you want to be when you grow up.” And when you grew up, are you the doctor you dreamed about? Maybe a teacher? Or did you become that ballerina in the fancy outfits? Are we products of our childhood, or the choices we made along the way?
Kids Confidence and Self-Esteem
Reflecting
I watch my son playing with his friends down the street, pretending they have the powers of the elements to battle the bad guys. How he is open to imagine a world of great power and the ability to conquer the negative. I started to reflect back to when I was a child and the dreams I had for my life. My childhood was filled with pretending to teach a classroom, math. (I love math and numbers.) Thinking about how I was going to be a great teacher.
Only the best for my child
As parents, we raise our children in a way that we feel is better than our own. We want to give them what we couldn’t get. To offer them choices and opportunities we may not have had back then. Ah, but isn’t that what our parents tried with us? Have you ever heard your mom or dad say, “I just want what is best for you. I want you to have things I didn’t when I was your age.” Are we actually helping, or hurting them?
Do as I say not as I do
Kids learn so much from what they see and hear than anything their own parents offer. Why? Simple, they are only with their parents a small amount of time as kids. My son already spends 7 hours a day at school and sleeps 9-10 hours a night. Add in homework, playing with his friends, and I am left with only a few hours each day. At least on the weekends I have more time, that is unless there are sports, birthday parties, or playdates involved. The time we have with our children is precious. We all know that. They grow up so fast. How can I use these few hours to make sure he is growing up to be a good man? Grow up to be a healthy and mindful man?
Kids will find themselves in situations throughout their life that will test their emotions. Some will be able to handle each event as if it was no big deal. Others will be in the corner crying and yelling out, “why me?” My son, who is 8 years old, has already had to endure bullying at school, bullying from kids near the house, and just the personal test of trying to be the best. As his mom, it tears me apart as he experiences each one, knowing that I am only able to do so much for him. Worried that depending on what I do, could make his mental health either better or worse.
To be a child
And then reflecting back into my own childhood and growing up with the bullying I endured, I begin to ask myself questions. How did my childhood experience really impact who I am today? Do I have mental scars and cracks in my armor from what I went through? Yes. But there was one important admission I had to make. My childhood is not the only thing that makes me, well, me. My childhood offered a foundation and some life experiences. But ultimately, I am me solely by the choices I have made along the way.
Having a number of kids tease me about my looks, about how quiet I am, and about my weight, had given me a mind frame of thinking I wasn’t pretty enough. That I wasn’t good enough. That no one could want me. Finding myself clinging onto people I would meet and would show me some form of attention. Using the attachment as a lifeline to get through each day. But something happened along the way. As I went through each day, each tease, each torment, I found myself looking at the other person differently. Seeing who they really are. Understanding that as I may be experiencing life this way, another is experiencing life another way. We all have our own stories.
Childhood or the choices
My childhood didn’t make me. My son today, is not going to be the same when he is a man. Because it is our choices of turning away, letting go, looking at the bigger picture, and ultimately respecting that we all are just trying to survive the day. I will continue to teach my son this. How I am able to live my life, respecting everyone around me, whether I know you or not. But…it is also my respect that is easy to lose. My choices make me just as your choices make you. The most important thing to remember is that the past is not the only thing that is a part of us today. Because even your choice to read this blog, is becoming a part of your life now.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
