Exploring the fabric of our stories one character at a time.

You don’t know it is special until it’s gone

Well, it is finally here. There is only one day left for me and then no more. I have been busy saying my goodbyes to everyone that has meant so much to me. But this chapter is coming to a close. Just one last day with my current job and then off to another. My last day of work is here, and a new career is ahead of me. This past week I have been reaching out to everyone I had the opportunity to work with to bid them a heartfelt farewell. Realizing that it is not only my career that is changing, but I am as well.

Missing the special

Remember when I talked about not believing that I am anything special. That it was so hard for me to see myself in a positive view. This past week, as I talked with my friends at work and all of the people, I had the chance to meet, I started to realize that there was something I was missing. Something my close friends and family were constantly trying to get me to see. I am something special to them.

A dear friend of mine had once told me that I am special. That I have touched the hearts of so many in ways that are not so noticeable. But I never believed it since no one said anything to me. Well, that is until now. As I said my goodbyes to my friends, I realized that I had made an impact. Each one was surprised, happy about my new adventure, and sad to see me leave.

Calm and Quiet

I am not an outgoing, vibrant person. Not one for a show and display. Just someone that was calm and reserved when needed. Just a caring person that wanted to please others. But I was also someone that wished very much for an outward appreciation. To be acknowledged by others and given that display of affirmation. Because since I didn’t believe much in myself, I craved it from them. So, as I was saying my goodbyes, I realized that all of these other people had much appreciation for me, even though it wasn’t until I was leaving that the display was given.

I struggle daily to believe in myself. This new career chapter has me nervous as I face this unknown. Always wondering what people see in me. Why would they want me for their company? What do I have that is so special they are willing to hire me? Ask any of these to my friends at my (going to be) former company, and they will give you a long list. Because each one had told me that my professionalism, my caring nature, and my calm attitude will be greatly missed.

Hidden, but not gone

This transition in my life is a steppingstone into a long journey of healing my self-doubt. Accepting the fact that not everyone will always voice their gratitude. This doesn’t mean we are not all unique and special in our ways. Taking the steps out of our comfort zone will always be scary. But knowing that we have, even if it is only one person, someone in our life that feels better knowing us…well that is everything. At least it is for me.

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With great warmth,