Tis the season to be jolly. Well, more like tis the season to be anxious, worried, happy, and peaceful. As we are getting closer to the Christmas holiday and so many cultural and religious holidays throughout the next weeks, this is the time that we think about our family and friends. The pressure of finding the right gift, scheduling the dinners and parties, traveling between homes to make sure everyone is visited. The winter holidays are meant to be a time to sit back and enjoy your family. Instead, there are so many of us that are running around, barely finding time to breathe.
Tis the season to run around
I found myself today struggling to maintain composure for my family. The one of strength that everyone can come to me to get answers and rely on. Running around for a week, feeling under the weather, and still pushing through. Why did I do that? Why did I feel the need to keep going instead of saying that I need help or that I don’t feel good? What did it prove to anyone that I was able to do everything for everyone, at the cost of my own health?
The meltdown
So, what happened was, I had a meltdown. In front of my family. Tonight. It took the simple act of my son not being happy with his dinner for me to lose control on my emotions. A full 7 days of constant moving, interaction, no rest and reliability, came barreling down. And all it did was scare and hurt my son. Why? Because I did not give myself the needed rest, even for a small amount of time, to recenter myself. I bottled up my emotions. My thoughts and feelings were held back. There was no time for it.
Tis the season for me
What should I have done? Find a way to calm my mind. Ask my family for one hour of time to break away and be alone. A small amount of time to pull away from the craziness of the holidays and rest. It will not be easy to take this time. But it is so necessary. Another way, find an opportunity within the tasks to add time for me. Like, I had to drive to the mall one day to pick up gifts that were ordered. So, by taking a longer route home, a more scenic route or a trip to see past homes I lived in, could have given me the space to calm my emotions.
Making the holidays work for me
Finding ways to pull from the holidays may work too. Foods that are commonly baked and shared through traditions, offer elements of memories and peace. A cup of hot cocoa or hot apple cider, with warm cookies and home-cooked meals. Giving way to thoughts of simpler times in our lives. I mean that is why we make traditions, right? It is about sharing parts of our family from several years prior, memories of happy times, and a way to bond.
Stressful enough
The holidays are stressful as they are. Missing family and friends that cannot be with us. Those that are now watching over us instead of sitting with us. The controlled chaos of the streets and stores. Children asking for the coolest toys, and adults trying to get to the next party. Then the day comes and suddenly, we ask ourselves, all that for what? All that for the smiles on our children’s faces. The warmth knowing that our family is close by. Feeling the love from all we have in our lives.
Tis the season for you
This holiday, as you finish your gift wrapping and food prepping, don’t forget about yourself. Maybe pick out a small token for you. A little treat for yourself. This is something I am learning to do. My therapist mentioned that if I find a part of my life lacking, find a way to fulfill it myself. Romance myself. Love myself. Care for myself. Because in the end, we are only responsible for our own happiness, right? Need a cry? Let it out. Want some love? Send yourself some flowers or write a note to yourself. Need a moment to calm your mind? Take a break. Focus some time, no matter how big or small, on yourself. You will feel better.
May these holidays, whichever you celebrate, be filled with love that brings you peace.
With great warmth,
