This week has been filled with laughter, enlightenment, and stress. Celebrating with coworkers for the holidays, planning my travel to see family soon, and a class at work that struck a chord in me. As I have told my coworkers this week, we all leave fingerprints on the lives we interact with. And this week, those fingerprints mean so much more.
Intelligence at work
The week started off with a class at work about emotional intelligence. Now, this was focused heavier in the workplace, but there were several points that I couldn’t help but reflect in my personal life too. The acclaimed Dr. Debbie Phillips presented to my coworkers and I about how mental health is so vital as we move through our work lives.
Music
Areas we discussed included handling stress throughout our careers. How music can play a role in our emotions and even give us the tools to focus. Like right now, I am listening to a violinist play a Taylor Swift song. Instrumental music has always provided a calming environment to keep my brain and my focus on what I want my writing to portray to my readers. Now, this is probably not the right music for me while I am driving. So, that is when I will turn to more rock music. Keeping the volume up so I can sing out to each song. Giving me the motivation and drive to start my day on a high note. Then the softer pop music will come in play to keep my mentality uplifted and engaged. The energy will be at an elevated level to make sure I can get through my workday.
There was one area in the class that hit home. There was a slide she provided that showed what is not my responsibility at work and what is. I was able to relate this to my personal life. Because it was just recently that I understood what my responsibility was in my personal life. Remember, I grew up and through most of my adult life, believing that I was put on this earth only to make others happy, at the cost of my own happiness. It took me over 40 years to accept and understand, I am NOT responsible for anyone’s happiness, BUT my own. This is in the workplace too.
Responsibility
It was interesting. I had a coworker ask about, “is it not my responsibility of the contractors I had hired and their actions on a jobsite?” The answer is no. Here is where I can relate. At work, I hire a contractor and they are rude to one of my tenants. Am I responsible? Not really. I have a responsibility to get a job done in an efficient, safe, and cost-effective way. I hired a contractor that I believed and trusted to have the same values as I do. But I ultimately cannot control anyone. However, I can implement circumstances based on their actions. In my personal life, this is the same. I cannot control my spouse, or even my child. I can teach them, give them guidance, and implement circumstances if they choose to act in a negative way. But I cannot control them.
My focus has to be on me. I can control my actions. I have control over my emotions. Able to choose when to be angry, cry, or scream. I have no magic powers to make a person move, talk, and work the way only I instruct. We each have enough in our lives to worry about. There is no need to add another person’s emotions and actions to the list.
Emotional Aware
Emotional intelligence is being aware of your mental health. Taking a step back for just a minute or two and looking closely at all of the elements going on in your daily life. What does your personal life show you? How is your work life impacting your physical and mental health? Is it impacting your personal life? Do you allow for any elements of time in your day to recenter your mind? Being aware of how your own mental health is vital to a healthy life.
Every day we are faced with challenges. Relationships being tested. Work life adding the stress of deadlines. Family members requesting help and guidance. The only way we can each make our way through the day, is being aware of our own self and our own emotions. It took me a long time to even get to this point in my life. I have a long road ahead of me. Having my support system next to me, I will have the strength to make my way through. And if any of you need or want to add to your support system, please reach out. Together we can get through.
With great warmth,
