Ever look at your friends and watch them laugh and dance? They really look like they are having a good time. Almost like they do not have a care in the world. You might even wish you were more like them. Thinking that they have an easy life. But you are probably wrong. Too many times, those smiles are hiding the dark they hold. All the worry and fear that keep them up at night. All the frustration and sadness they face daily. Just because they are happy now, doesn’t mean they are not still fighting every day.
One Piece
Every day I run through a vast number of thoughts about my life. And lately I find myself thinking about all the areas of my life. Since starting my new job, I have been feeling better during the day. As if I finally freed myself from a chain holding me back for far too long. Able to challenge myself in a new way, while not feeling the pressure of being away from home for so long. It was a large part of my life as most jobs are. Typically spending 9 hours a day at work and adding in driving, can be 11 hours each day away from home. And now, finally, I feel relaxed. Enjoying the time I spend at work and enjoying the people I work with.
Just another one
But this was only one piece of my life. My friendships and all the relationships I have with the people in my life is another. My family and friends, those that have a special place in my heart, are just another piece. Another section that takes up many thoughts I hold. Are they okay? Do they think about me? Do they need help? Will they be there for me if I need help? Why did they have to say that to me? If you are like me, you tend to hold others higher than yourself. Always wanting to please the other person as a way to feel happy for yourself. The weight of pleasing them, the lack of self-worth, and the self-imposed need to be liked adds more pressure to a stressed mind. One thought leading to another until you are frozen and numb with too many to function.
Home is where
Add in home life. Do you look forward to coming home or are you finding ways to stay out longer? Is the thought of being at home around everyone relaxing or stressful? A home should be a place of peace and laughter. Too many times, people find their homes to be nothing of the sort. Dealing with children is not easy. Then add in the adults and their own tempers and needs. The strain of managing a home is a full-time job. And some may find themselves doing everything alone, married or not.
The fight
What we need to realize is that if you find yourself or a friend laughing and enjoying life, don’t forget that there still can be a daily fight. A battle to find all the positive in their life when faced with so much negative. Every day I wake up and know I will be challenged. I may be laughing more, smiling more, and feeling better. But I still fight with the demons in my mind. Those voices that want to point out flaws. Each day fight to keep those thoughts in a mental box so I do not lose the happiness I am feeling. I won’t stop fighting either. Because as my dad once told me, “Can’t lose you, you are too special!” Please keep fighting. And remind your friends and family that they have a soldier beside them fighting too. You are loved. You are worthy.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
