Ever have one of those days where you just want the day to be over? Feels like everything is a struggle. You want something you can’t have. Something you want to do but can’t do. Seems like everyone needs your time. Fighting to keep your head above water, let alone keep your mind straight. Ever have one of those days when you ask, why do I care?
There is some good
For the last few weeks, I have been feeling pretty good. My life is still in utter chaos, but I was smiling more. I felt better about myself. Even feeling more powerful. Then I had a moment of emotional outburst. It even surprised me that I was feeling the way I did. I struggled that night to turn my negative thoughts off. Found it hard to relax so I could sleep. It felt as if I had been keeping all of this emotion in a bottle, shaking it up each day, until that night it exploded.
Hiding
We see people every day that walk around laughing, smiling, and interacting with friends. How many of them have been bottling up their emotions? Have they been trying to keep everything hidden so no one can see their true self?
Care what I think
When I started this path about mental health and my own journey through life, I didn’t realize right away how much this has really impacted me. Finding my true support group, those that I can be my raw self with, I don’t know where I would be without them. Discovering my outlets that get me through each day, like music and even a little “car-therapy”, have released some major tension over the years. (By the way,
“car-therapy” is when you can have a rational conversation with yourself in your car. Don’t mock. For me, it works!) Learning more about how I think, react, and sometimes the “why” of it all.
Care too much
Anyone that has a chance to really know me understands that when I say I am a good listener, it is not just words for me. I am that person that will stop anything I am doing (unless I cannot stop in fear of hurting someone or burning the house down), and I listen to every word you say. I am the person that listens to your emotions. Watching the body expressions as you talk tells a much bigger story too. My undivided attention is on you, whenever you need someone to turn to. How many of you can say, you have a friend like that?
When I care about someone, I care about their entire self. I think this is why it would not be a good idea for me to be a therapist. I take on your worries. Hold onto your burdens. No way would I let you go through your struggles alone. As if I care too much about you. That your stress is added to mine.
Not all bad days
I get those days of wanting to hide until better days come. For a long time, I wanted to get into my car, leave everything behind and put my life on pause for a while. But life doesn’t work that way. If you run away from this stress, another is right around the corner. So, it is best to tackle this one head-on. If you find yourself asking “why do I care about any of this?” Remember that life is not all stress and negativity. You will have good days and weeks like I did. Maybe you have that support group like mine. Most importantly, you do matter. The world is far more beautiful with you in it.
Worth it all
The “why” that we ask every day is why do I care? You care because you love. Caring because you have dreams. We care because we have hope. Find your positivity. Any glimpse of love, like a family member, friend, or even the hope of love will brighten any day. Dreams always have a chance to become reality. The first step is to believe. In yourself and in your dreams. Why do I care? Because you are all worth it.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
