I just realized how much I didn’t know about depression until I really started learning about it. I thought that if you were sad, you were probably depressed. And all you needed was to laugh and smile to be happy. Boy was I wrong. The world is not black and white. So could I have assumed depression and how we feel to be cut and dry. There are many pieces to depression and many more we are still learning about.
Understanding
The first time I really understood I had been depressed, was when I was able to break free from it for a little while. I will never forget how it all happened. I was probably about 19 or 20 yrs old and had been really depressed for the past 6 years. I had a friend that manipulated me into doing everything for her. She realized that I would do just about anything to be her friend at the time. Things like taking her to work 20 mins away on my day off and picking her up to take her home. Doing whatever she wanted to do when we hung out. Stuff like that. But then it changed.
Remembering
One day she conned me into taking her to work on my day off. When I got to her house, she tells me that she doesn’t need me anymore that she is having someone else take her in and that I needed to bring her home. It was like a switch in my brain that flipped. I was so mad. That I yelled at her for wasting my time and that if this is how she treats friends, I didn’t want it. But it was the drive home that was all the difference. I physically felt lighter and the day seemed brighter all of a sudden. I felt proud and strong. And the entire drive home, I smiled.
Realizing
That moment made me realize that there was a different world to see out there. Now over time, I have had ups and downs. Tough battles in life and events of pride. And when I decided to study mental health more, it all became clearer. We still do not know enough about depression. Like right now, I bet many would see me and think that I might be struggling with life. Others may find me laughing and think everything is probably good. But they don’t know I have been battling depression for a long time.
Not one way
Depression doesn’t just mean you are sad. It is not that simple. I have seen too many people laughing and joking around, only to discover they too are battling depression. When you live in it for so long, it becomes easier to hide it from the world. A mask we wear so that our friends and family don’t worry. Telling ourselves that they all have their own challenges, we don’t need to add to them. And we hide in plain sight.
Ok
It is so critical that you reach out to all those you love. Whether they appear to be happy or not. I have found some wonderful friends on a video game I play. And the one thing they love I do, is one simple private message of…”are you ok?” I have told them all I am a safe place and judgement free zone. I will always have the time to listen if they ever just want to vent or cry about life. One simple message, “Are you Ok?” could be the difference of life or death. An olive branch someone needs to make it through their day. To see what is hidden and offer the love they need.
By the way, are you ok?
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
