You are presented with a new opportunity to accomplish something great, but you hesitate. Thoughts run through your head, wondering if you are good enough to handle such a big task. Maybe you start to ask yourself, why are they asking me? Insecurities are dangerous things. I have them all the time, keeping me from trying new things in life. But are they really stopping me? Of am I stopping me? We all have some piece of an insecurity that holds us from some element in our lives.
All at Once
Recently, I had an episode of insecurities flood my mind.
“Why do I feel obsessed with having my friends in constant contact with me?”
“How come I get sad and depressed when they are busy in their own life, and I cannot talk to them right now?”
“Why do I feel like I am not smart enough?”
“When I get a little lonely, why do I feel like I am not special enough?”
It wasn’t until someone helped me to take a closer look at each of my insecurity questions to really see what it is in my life that contributes to the thoughts.
Not Choosing Insecurity
Since I have started on this path of mental health about a year and a half ago, I have been more aware of my emotions, anxieties, episodes of depression, and now also my insecurities. In a past post, “No Change Without a Choice“, I talked about how we choose to be happy or sad. We have the power within ourselves to look at events in our life and choose to be upset and mad or we can refocus the energy to areas in life that are more important. As I have been noticing my own thoughts, I found that I don’t always follow my own opinions.
Digging Deeper
That day those insecurities hit me (all at once), I began to get down and feel more depressed. What would have happened, had I refocused away from those thoughts and onto more important things? So, I get a thought about being obsessed with having contact with my friends. Okay, I may find myself holding onto the contact from friends too hard. Probably because I know I have a few really close friends that know me better than I know myself. They are ones that can make me smile in my darkest days. I cherished these people in my life. But I need to make sure I remind myself that they have lives, families, and other friends that they focus on too. I also need to remind myself that they are always there when you really them, just like you are to them.
No Comparison
When I start thinking about not being smart enough, I find myself comparing. And that is the problem. You cannot compare yourself to anyone else. It is not possible. We hear phrases like comparing apples to oranges. You trying to compare yourself to anyone else on this planet is like comparing an apple to a block of wood. They are not you. There is no element of comparison possible because no one else is you. Those of you in the world with a twin sibling…you cannot compare either. Because no matter how many similarities there are between people, there is a difference. There always will be. They don’t walk exactly like you, talk exactly like you, look exactly like you. I cannot say I am not smart enough, because no one else is me. I know that I am intelligent, a thinker, and I love to problem-solve. So, unless it is about a subject I never learned about, then I am smart enough…for me.
No Holding Back
My insecurities like to hold me back from doing great things, having good things, and being happy in life. Those insecurities are also areas in my life that I can control. I can control who I have in my life. Who I am happy with. What I want to do in my life. All I need to do is break down each one to see the weak link and refocus that energy into the more important.
With great warmth,
