I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. Well, to a point. Anyway, I am who I am today because of the positive moments in my life AND the harder times. Every event, interaction, person, and moment became something to learn about me. Unfortunately, I was a slow learner and it really didn’t become clear to me until recently. Guess my hindsight was a little broken.
The Real Me
People who know me, see the real me at first glance. Maybe not all of me, but it is me. I never try or pretend to be anything or anyone other than me. I respect all people, but it is my respect for them to lose. When I tell someone that I care about them, it is 100% true. And I have always put others needs ahead of my own, every chance I could.
But even now, as I sit here, I still learn more about myself. Who I am and what I like. And most importantly, what I will tolerate and what I will not. Since changing jobs and even looking over the careers I have had, I learn more. How I strive to support everyone. The managers I have worked for, I made sure I took care of the smaller issues so they can focus on the bigger ones. I had the knowledge and expertise to be manager in these roles, but I was comfortable as the support.
The Growing Me
The biggest, hardest, and longest lesson I have (and still learning) are about the relationships I have and had in my life. All of the friends from past to present. Past romances and my family now. Who I was back then with these people and who I am today. Being the large, shy, quiet girl growing up, made having friends and making friends very difficult. I worried if anyone would really like me. If I would ever find a man that would think I was beautiful and want to be with me. And looking at my past today, I see where I had settled just because the guy showed interest. Or the friends of my past that I held onto only because they paid attention to me. And where my family tried to get me to see all of this.
Now today, I see people a little differently. I see how I am with my family at home. How I stand strong with them while constantly trying to make this house a home. My friends today, I stick by as they have shown every day how they support me and hold me up. And those friends of my life that offer a little comfort from the acquaintance. No longer allowing myself to hold onto people in my life that use me for my kindness.
Still Me
It took time, experience, and strength for me to look through the clouded glasses of my heart at the people and events of my life. A chance to learn about who I am, what I want in my life, and who I will allow to share it with. We will continue to learn about ourselves until our last breath. Seeing and believing what we can accomplish and the strength we hold inside. It has taken me several years to find this strength. I hope you are able to find yours much sooner. When you do, remember that you are enough. You are beautiful. And you are loved.
Enjoy this video.
With great warmth,
